Finding
by Mai Gamit
Summary: COMPLETE! Hermione has been living on her own in a flat in London for eight years. Looking back on what she had many years ago she remembers a certain person. His name was Sirius Black. This is how she found him, and how they fell in love. SBHG
1. Chapter 1: Take Me Away

A/n: Welcome to '_Finding_.' This is my first installment!!!! YAY!!! Please read and review!!!

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 1: Take Me Away

"I feel like I am all alone All by myself I need to get around this My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you If I show you, I don't think you'd understand Cause no one understands"

-Avril Lavigne

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Hermione had just woken up and the sun was in her face. She quietly cursed the offending light that had woken her up and gotten up to take a shower for the new day. She had been living on her own near the middle of London for quite some time now. She had a steady job at the Ministry as an _Aurors' Report Reviewer_ and worked with pride everyday. One could say she was getting in to the rhythm of things.  
  
She had walked out of the shower and on her bed was a letter. It was addressed to her in a familiar writing. It was from Harry.  
  
_'Mione,  
  
Ron and I are getting together later on today. Some time around 3.00 at the Leaky Cauldron. Would you care to join us? You don't have to reply, just show up. Ron should be there first, because he gets out of work just before me, so be looking for a weird looking red head. Aha, I'm only joking. Hopeful to see you later. _

_Love,  
Harry_  
  
She smiled warmly at the letter and put it down, inwardly agreeing to meet up with them. She slowly got dressed and headed into the kitchen for a bowl of cereal. After retrieving the cold bowl and eating the sweet substance that smelt of cinnamon, she started to think.  
  
_'What had happened to the good old days?'_ she asked herself_ 'Where have they all gone? Why had everything changed so much?'_  
  
She continued to think like this and came to the conclusion that it was because of all the lost friends and family. The War. Hermione had to strive so hard and long just to keep it together after so many losses. She started to think if there was ever a way to get any of it back. To get him back, that man she loved.  
  
Coming up to the front door of the old pub that she had done so many times before, she remembered her first day. She smiled to herself. She was having a good memory now. Walking in, she saw Ron sitting at the table, but Harry had yet to show up, as he said would happen, she laughed slightly.  
  
"Hermione, over here!" Ron stood up, waved a hand and made sure she could see him.  
  
She casually walked up with a smile, '_Why am I smiling so much?_' they hugged and sat down.  
  
"I'm so glad you could make it." He exclaimed, smiling brightly at her. "Harry should be coming along in a minute."  
  
"That's good." She pulled off her scarf, jacket and hat.  
  
They hadn't been waiting too long before Harry showed up, and they ordered drinks and a late lunch.  
  
Harry looked to Hermione, "So, how have you been 'Mione? You've been a wee bit too quiet for your self lately."  
  
She lied "I'm fine" and she smiled warmly.  
  
When she got home, she realized that she actually had lied, and her smile had faded since then. She then realized she was not fine. She felt alone and cold.  
  
That day she did not have any work and decided that she would stay home for the remainder of the it. She couldn't find anything to stimulate her mind with, so she started to go through some old photo albums. She quickly went through the newer ones, and as she faded into the older ones she slowed down a bit. She would look at the pictures in depth and try and remember those people.  
  
Remus, Sirius, Tonks, Ron, Harry, and her sitting in a semi circle, at Grimmauld Place. She looked closely at the pictures and noticed that everyone was smiling. She never remembered Sirius' smile before. She now thought about him.  
  
_'It all started with him. If only he was still here, everyone would be able to hold it together a bit more'_ she thought for hours on this subject. Thinking if only there was a way for him to come back.  
  
"Hermione, I need that report on my desk in one hour!" screamed her boss, Mr. McCormick.  
  
She mumbled a _'Yes, sir'_ to herself and finished up the report and dropped it off on his desk. Getting her things together to go home, a picture had fallen out of her pocket the she had taken out of her album. It was of her, Sirius, and Harry. It was funny because in the picture Sirius had surprised her with a kiss on the cheek, and her face had glowed with happiness in the picture because of it as her picture self pushed Sirius out of frame, and Harry giving Sirius an amused stern face.  
  
She gave a small laugh at the image and decided to walk home, because it wasn't that far. She had continued to glance at the three of them laughing, giggling and just enjoying life in that picture. Now she really wanted it back.

These pictures, this was before her and him. Before her and her first love.  
  
On her way home she had made a detour into Diagon Alley and was looking around a bookstore. As she looked, she found herself becoming more interested in looking for an answer, an answer she was determined to find.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: Please review!!!!!

**_REVIEW!!!!!_**


	2. Chapter 2: Without love

A/n: Thank you to all that have reviewed!!! Weather your comments were good or evil they're always good! Thank you! I promise I will try my best to update in bigger portions and it less time. To tell you the truth, I never intended on writing this, it was kind of a brain fart. Any ways, on with MY story!!!  
  
Also, I wrote this to the album of 'HAIR' so sorry if it's a little weird.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
Chapter 2: Without Love

"Though I know the One who holds, The stars in the heavens, In the palm of His hands, If I give all I posses, To the poor and the helpless, I'll still gain nothing, Without Love"

-Stacie Orrico

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
It had been a few hard days of research, but she had pieces of the puzzle that was almost complete. She found a book on the 'undead', which she believed Sirius to be. It read:  
  
"_For years, people have gone out for searches on loved ones believed to be 'undead.' Many have come out empty handed, but a small handful has been triumphant."_  
  
Hermione was enticed by this and read on:  
  
_". . . People have used potions, sacrifices, and 'deals with the devil' (not to be believed), but the one true standby is the unexpected true love. The unexpected love goes out in search for the missing other, otherwise known as the undead. After some time of search, the undead is now alive and in full light. They come back to its true form."_  
  
By this point in time, Hermione had begun to wonder why this wasn't a known fact._ 'Why is it that this did not stick out as an answer before?' _She read on to find out a bit more on that particular topic, but had come to a loss. She knew that now, there had to be an 'unexpected' true love to save Sirius, but only if he was really undead, which was now an unanswered question.  
  
Now Hermione had to find the answer to the last question _'Was Sirius part of the undead?'_ She already knew that who she wanted to really bring back, she could not. He was not part of the undead, he was very much dead.  
  
Hermione had gone home thinking if there was anything or anyone who could answer that question. _'Was Sirius the part of the undead?' _She had not immediately thought of anyone, but the answer was so obvious, she almost hit herself. Dumbledore. He would be able to give her an answer.  
  
Hermione had decided to take the next day off from work, it was a Monday, she hated Mondays. Her boss never minded it anyway. She had decided to go see Dumbledor about her revelation. Since school was in session, she was not sure as to where he would be or the password to his office. So, she made her way to Professor McGonagall's room, where she knew the occupant would be.  
  
She opened the door slowly, checking to see if there was a class in session. Noticing there was no class, she walked in to see the teacher sitting at her desk, sifting through some papers.  
  
The older woman sitting before her looked up as Hermione continued to walk, and greeted her with a warm and welcoming smile "Good afternoon, and what a pleasant surprise, Miss. Granger!"  
  
"Good afternoon to yourself, Professor McGonagall." Hermione sat herself is at table near the front, just like she did only short of a decade ago. She looked around the room in reminiscence.  
  
McGonagall had pushed her papers aside, took off her reading glasses, and folded her hands in front of her. "Well child, what brings you here to Hogwarts?"  
  
Hermione blushed slightly, "Well, you see Professor, I have come to you in search for Professor Dumbledore. I haven't a clue as to where he would be at this time, and I haven't the password to his office. I have an important question for him. Plus I wanted to see a familiar face."  
  
The old Professor laughed at the passed students play, and told her that the Headmaster would be in his office at that time. She also gave Hermione the password into his office. She thanked her old teacher and left with anticipation to see Dumbledore.  
  
As she approached the large winged bird, she spoke of the password and stepped up to the step as it spiraled to the top towards the Headmasters office. She stepped off the stairs and walked towards where Professor Dumbledore seemed to be awaiting her arrival. Hands folded, looking straight over to Hermione, with those blues eyes, and his warm, special smile, only someone of his authority could hold.  
  
"Good afternoon, Miss Granger. I believe you came here for a reason?" He said this nonchalantly, with that twinkle in his blue, blue eyes.  
  
Hermione smiled at his wisdom and replied, "Yes Professor, I have. You see I have been doing some extensive work on finding a way to get Sirius back, but I have to know if the one quality that he needs to be retrieved, is true." She ended with an almost confusedly, questioning face on. Se looked to the headmaster.  
  
Dumbledore continued to look at Hermione with that same twinkle. She knew then that she had her answer. She could save Sirius. All she had to do now was find true unexpected love, but form where?

_Where on Earth am I going to find 'unexpected' love?_  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
A/n: thank you all who have, do, or will read and/or review my story! Thank you. I hope it wasn't too confusing. I want you all to know that I have figured out the whole site thing and I've got it going pretty good.

REVIEW!!!!!


	3. Chatper 3: Last Kiss

A/n: I'm sorry extremely sorry for he delay, but I was marked for abuse, but I don't know who I hit so . . . any ways, I'm still a little unsure as to where I am going with this story, but I know what I want the result to be.  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
Chapter 3: Last Kiss

"I held her close I kissed her - our last kiss, I found the love that I knew I had missed. Well now she's gone even though I hold her tight, I lost my love, my life that night."

-Pearl Jam

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
Hermione had come home after returning from Hogwarts with a smile on her face. All she had to do was to fine the _'unexpected love'_ that was required for Sirius return. She hoped that it was that easy.  
  
She had decided it was best not to include Harry or Ron on this adventure though. She had this strong feeling that she wanted to be the first face he saw.  
  
"How the bloody hell do you survive on your own like this 'Mione?"  
  
Hermione was startled at Remus's sudden arrival. She looked around at the appearance of her surroundings. She was sitting on the hard wooden floor of her living room with notes all around her.  
  
She stood up, "Well, it's quite easy you see." She brushed her self off, walked over to Remus, and they hugged. "It's good to see you too." They walked into her moderate kitchen and Hermione conjured up some tea. She had been used to his sudden arrivals, but she was usually not so preoccupied. He would come over and they would talk over tea, usually he would bring his daughter, Jacque along though. Remus had Jacque with Tonks. Remus and Tonks were married.  
  
"So, how have you been lately? You seem to be up to something." Remus stated, taking a sip from his tea.  
  
Hermione tilted her head, "Well, not really" then she saw his face. "Yes."  
  
"And what is it?" He asked, pryingly.  
  
She thought about telling him, then decided, she was caught, why lie? She told Remus of how she missed Sirius, and how she wished it were like before he was gone. She told him of her research, her findings, and what she was going to do.  
  
"The only problem is, is that I don't know where this "unexpected true love" is going to come from." She sighed. She looked up to Remus; his mouth was slightly open, chin in his palm and totally transfixed on what she was saying. "Well? What do you think?"  
  
He straightened up and sat for a minute, thinking over what she had told him, _'She found a way to save Sirius? How'd she . . . How come . . . How come I never thought to look?'  
_  
"You . . . you can save Sirius?"  
  
"I think I can, yes." She said bluntly.  
  
Then he smiled, he remembered how she talked of him, like an old best friend, but they weren't.  
  
"But I still don't know what the true love thing is. That's why I am asking you." She started to sound a little frustrated. She finished her tea.  
  
Remus continued to look at her, then to the floor and stood up, "You are the smartest witch of your age Hermione and if you haven't figured it out yet, then I don't know what happened."  
  
She looked at him like he was mocking her, "What are you talking about?"  
  
He laughed, "I must be getting home to Jacque. She'll be missing me. Plus Ron will be mad if I stay too much longer." He walked to the front door, Hermione right behind him as he put on his jacket. "If you haven't realized it, you are that unexpected true love for Sirius. If anyone can save him, it's you."  
  
She looked at him in shock, _'Is he bonkers? I can't love Sirius!'  
_  
Remus gave her a kiss on the forehead, said goodbye, and was out the door in a few seconds. She was left, to herself to think now.  
  
_'-do I love him?'  
  
'-is Remus right?'  
  
'-what am I supposed to do now?'_

'_He's not right and that is final!'_  
  
She still had to figure out how to get Sirius back, and wondered if she was what was the main ingredient for his savior. Certainly not her.

Left to herself, Hermione went over the notes she had copied out of the books that she had read through. She had forgotten how she was supposed to save him. Then she found the page with the directions.  
  
"_-one must be present at the sight where the lost or missing were unaccountable for. Then recite the unconditional love for that person. Depending on if the love was true and realized or not, depends on weather that person comes back or not. If there is not love for that person, he or she will be lost and unattainable, forever."_  
  
Now she knew she had to be at the veil. _'Simple.'_ She wanted someone to be there, she didn't want it to be so obvious that it was just her who had this planned. _'I'm sure Remus would love to be there with me . . . hoping it works.' _She quickly scribbled a note to him:  
  
_Remus,  
  
Thank you for your wonderful advice. Please do not tell anyone! I'm still not sure of what this whole thing is. I would like to ask of you to accompany me to the veil. Please. I will understand if you would rather not join me, but please send your consent.  
  
Hermione  
  
P.S. It would be greatly advised not to bring Jacque along if you decide to join me. I will be going to the veil on Monday sometime after 8.00 P.m. because that's when I'll be getting out of work._  
  
She sent off the letter with her owl, which she had owned for the past two years, trying to keep in contact with her friends. She went to bed, waiting for the next four days to go by quickly, weather Remus was coming with her to the veil to save Sirius, if it was possible or not.  
  
The next day, while making breakfast for Jacque, Remus noticed a letter left on the kitchen table. He noticed the writing to be Hermione's and her owl sitting on the back of one of the kitchen table chairs.  
  
"Dad, this came in this morning, really early, from Hermione." Jacque knew it was from Hermione because she recognized her owl.  
  
Remus smiled, "Thank you dear. Now eat up your breakfast, then well go visit Hermione, okay?"  
  
Jacque yelled in excitement and continued to eat her breakfast enthusiastically, legs swinging back and forth. She loved to visit Hermione.  
  
He opened the letter addressed to him and smiled. He quickly replied saying he would be over in a few hours with Jacque in tow. He also let Hermione know that he would floo over sometime around two o'clock in the afternoon.  
  
Hermione was just cleaning up her morning dishes, when she saw her bird return, with a reply. She dashed over to the window and let the owl fly in. It was a cute little gray barn owl, that was obviously Remus's. She retrieved the letter, and read it.  
  
_Hermione,  
  
I'll be over at two today with Jacque.  
  
Remus  
  
P.S. I'll give you an answer when I get one!_  
  
Hermione smiled and spoke aloud, "Why does he always have to do things the hard way?"  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
A/n: I'm sorry for the three-day delay, I had a problem with , but do not fear, for it will never happen again! 

REVIEW!!!!!!!


	4. Chapter 4: I'll be

A/n: Thank you so much to the very special peoples . . . . . . . THE REVIEWERS!!! Anyway, here is the fourth installment of 'Finding.'  
  
P.S. I'm also letting you know HOW I'M GONNA DO THIS!!! Thank you for letting me figure this out.  
  
Thank you for reading!!!  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
Chapter 4: I'll be

"I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead  
Tuned in, turned on, Remembered the things that you said"

–Edwin McCain llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
Remus came over later that day with Jacque like he said he would. He let Hermione know that as long as he could find a babysitter for Jacque, because she's only four, that he would join her to the veil the following Monday. Hermione told Remus not to let anyone else know, she just wanted it just between the two of them. She also didn't want anyone else to get their hopes up, just incase nothing happened.  
  
"Just to let you know I'm not entirely sure about me being the unexpected true love. I could never love Sirius." She snorted.  
  
"Hermione, you do love him, I love him, everybody loves him, but you were the only one to take the initiative and go out and find an answer." Remus stated, "You had that pull, that love to actually do something about it. Now if that is not love, then I do not know what to call it."  
  
"But -"  
  
Remus cut her off, "No buts, It may not be that kind of love you hear of in books, but it was more powerful then anyone else here."  
  
Jacque heard her dad talking, and came tramping in from the other room where she was playing with some toys she had brought with her. "Daddy! Are you going to find Uncle Sirius? I thought he died!" Remus grimaced at his daughter's bluntness.  
  
"Well, honey, we really don't know the answer, but maybe you will finally be able to meet Uncle Sirius." Remus smiled at his daughter and told her that they would be leaving soon. Jacque went to get her toys, her coat and waited at the door for her dad.  
  
They got to the door; Remus put on his coat and turned back to Hermione, still sitting at the table. He smiled to her and left with a soft good bye.  
  
Over the weekend, Hermione had been having a hard time getting to sleep. She could not get Sirius out of her mind. She would occasionally slip into little sleep, bountiful of dreams. 

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

_Hermione had just woken up, eyes yet to open to take in the surroundings. She could faintly smell the scent of rain in the air when she realized it was actually raining. It's sound smoothed her.  
  
She was about to go back to sleep when she felt someone on her back. A strong form, with a strong arm, tightly and protectively wrapped around her waist. She struggled slightly to remove herself from the member. She slipped out of the bed and turned to look at the person she was in bed with. She could see his face because when she had moved him, he had rolled over. She flushed slightly at how well built this man was. She put he almost frail fingers to her lips as she turned to the table next to the bed. She looked at the table and there was a parchment on it. She picked it up and read it.  
  
My 'Mione,_

_"The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful, stop me and steal my breath. Emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky, never revealing their depth. _

_Tell me that we belong together, dress it up with the trappings of love. I'll be captivated; I'll hang from your lips, instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above._

_Rain falls angry on the tin roof, as we lie awake in my bed. You're my survival, you're my living proof, and my love is alive not dead._

_Tell me that we belong together, dress it up with the trappings of love. I'll be captivated I'll hang from your lips.  
Instead of the gallows of heartache, that hangs from above_

_I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love suicide, I'll be better when I'm older, I'll be the greatest fan of your life._

_  
I've been dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead Tuned in, turned on, Remember the things that you said"_

_This was the only way that I could ever express the immense love that I have for you. I love you. There is no one else in this world for me other than you. I want to live with you for the rest of our lives, together. I want to be the father of our children. Then, I want to die with you. My love for you will never die.  
  
With everything in me, I love you Hermione Ann Granger, I love you.  
  
Sirius  
  
_llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

The first thing Hermione felt was shock. Slowly slipping into a heartfelt sigh. This was from Sirius. And he loved her. And it was so unexpected.

That morning Hermione woke up with a start, she quickly got ready for work and left her house. It was Monday.  
  
She was busy filling out a report for her boss. He had been upset with her productivity lately. He said that she had been in 'la la land' all week. Looking to the clock on the wall, Hermione realized it was a quarter past seven.  
  
She finished her report and passed it in. Receiving a 'good work Granger' as she walked out of Mr. McCormick's office. Returning to her office, she started to get her things together to go to the Department of Mysteries.  
  
"Hermione?"  
  
She didn't even have to look up to her colleague to know who it was, "Yes, Josh?"  
  
"Um, you have a visitor. It's _the_ Remus Lupin." Josh said, almost a little nervous. Apparently, he had never known his co-worker was affiliated with famous wizards. Since the war everyone in The Order of the Phoenix was considered great people, some of them went on to greater things, or they lived normal lives.  
  
Hermione smiled at his naivete, "Send him in, would you please?"  
  
"Yes ma'am." Josh sprinted to get Remus. He returned with the casual werewolf, who was used to people acting a little stupid around him.  
  
Remus walked in and Josh left.  
  
"Are you ready?" He asked her.  
  
Hermione grimaced, "Yes, I think I am, are you ready?"  
  
"Yes"  
  
They slowly walked to the Department of Mysteries in silence. Neither wanted to say anything. As they entered the vast room, with the dais and the archway, they could remember that night they came to avenge. Everything was monotone of blue.  
  
_"Come on, you can do better than that!"  
  
_They could see the look of fear and surprise on his face as they imagined Sirius falling toward the veil once again. Then they heard a familiar child's cry and a retort to it.  
  
_"SIRIUS . . . SIRIUS!"  
  
"There's nothing you can do, Harry –"  
  
"Get him, save him, he's only just gone through!"  
  
"It's too late, Harry -"  
  
"We can still reach him -"  
  
"There's nothing you can do, Harry . . . nothing . . . . He's gone."_  
  
There was a slight chill in the air as they walked up to the dais, and up the stairs towards the archway. They could still see the cracks and the blast marks on the walls and floor as they went. Finally, they reached the top of it dais, where the ripped curtains continued to flow.  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  
  
A/n: HAHAHAHAHA! This is an evil cliff! Hope you all liked the new chapter, I had a hard time figuring out some things. You see I had to do some catch-up reading in OOTP. 

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5: Foolish Games

A/n: HAHAHAHAHA I'm here to save you from the evil cliffie! (This is when you praise me, yeah!)

REVIEW!!!!

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 5: Foolish Games

"You took your coat off and stood in the rain, you're always crazy like that. And I watched from my window, always felt I was outside looking in on you. You're always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair, you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care."

-Jewel

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

They stood there for a few moments, taking in the atmosphere. "Well, what are you supposed to do?" Asked Remus suddenly.

Hermione didn't answer. She sat down, Indian style in front of the veil. She sat there with her eyes closed and called his name, as if to call him out. After that, she opened her eyes and she began to recall memories of the past. Moments she had spent with Sirius. Times spent at number twelve Grimmuald Place, when her and Harry had saved him back in her third year, and all those times her and Ginny would stay up late to talk about their two favorite Marauders.

That had surprised Remus because he never knew that the two young girls could feel that way towards Sirius and himself. As he sat and watched Hermione speak to the veil, he thought when it was just the four of them. James, Peter, Sirius, and him; The Marauders. Thinking of this, a silent tear rolled down his cheek. Then, Hermione had nothing else to say. The two of them sat there, in silence, waiting for something to happen. After a few decades of waiting, and nothing happening, Hermione stood up. She brushed herself off and turned to face Remus.

The only thing breaking the silence was the voices of sorrow leaking from the veil, none of them were coherent.

Hermione slowly descended down the stairs. "Maybe my love was not enough for him."

Remus put his head down in defeat, and followed suit. He thought to himself, _'what had gone wrong?'_

Just as they were out of earshot, Remus had heard something. He tuned on his heal and walked back to the archway.

"Remus, come on. I'm sorry but –"

And there it was, that voice.

"Help!"

It couldn't be him.

"Hermione help me!" Remus called to her, "He's here come on!"

She ran up the steps, and before thinking, plunged her hand into the veil. "Remus, grab me, just incase."

Remus wrapped his arms around her waist and waited for the signal.

Her hand still in the archway, she felt around for something. Then all of sudden, she felt a cold, clammy hand had grabbed her warm, soft touch.

"Remus! Pull!" She screamed.

Remus had followed what she had instructed, and pulled her back. They had tumbled down a few stairs, and disorientated. Remus looked past Hermione, and Hermione looked past her had. There lied the body of Sirius Black in fetal position.

"Cold." He stated numbly, before he passed out. He looked just as he had, so many years ago.

"Hermione, we have to get him back to your place. We'll floo there, okay?" Remus stated.

"Right"

It was quite a feat, but Remus carried Sirius all the way to the Atrium, through one of the fires, into Hermione's flat, and onto a couch. After placing the now sleeping form of Sirius Black on the nearby couch, he awaited Hermione. When she had arrived, they embraced, and cried. She cried more than he did, but Remus couldn't help himself. Then, as if to wait for him to suddenly wake up, they sat on the couch, and watched Sirius sleep.

Silence. Peace.

No matter how much Hermione had protested being left alone with Sirius sleeping on her couch, Remus had to go home to his daughter. It was almost midnight by the time he finally apparated home and it was almost two o'clock in the morning by the time Hermione was convinced Sirius was not going to wake any time soon.

Eventually, some time around three thirty, she fell asleep.

Sirius opened his eyes. He saw color. He felt warmth. He was no longer in the veil. He was alive, _'who had saved me?'_ he thought too. Looking up, he saw the ceiling. He decided that he wanted to eat something for the first time in god knows how long. He rolled over and saw someone sitting on the couch opposite him.

The only thing he could remember from being in that horrid place was time passing, his stomach growling, and feeling totally and utterly alone. He was on the prowl for the most satisfying, sweet thing.

He got up and looked towards a clock he found on the wall, _'six thirty in the morning.'_ He got off the couch and walked into what he assumed the kitchen. He walked in and opened the freezer. He looked in and found something that looked appetizing. _'Hmm, Eggo waffles? Sounds interesting enough.'_ He walked around the kitchen, trying to figure out how to heat them up. He had no wand and he didn't think one could just fry them. He soon found out, from the box, that one could use a toaster, and once he figured out how to use that, he was enjoying the delectable waffles. It felt good to actually taste, smell, and eat food. It was a good wholesome feeling. He sat in silence and ate. Looking out a window over the city he recognized as the sun rose.

Once finishing eating, he decided that taking a shower would be best. _'I hope I don't smell something fierce.'_ He thought. He went rummaging through the house for clothes to wear. He walked into what seemed to be a girl's bedroom, with a girl in the bed, but paid no mind to it.

"Every girl I've every known has owned at least one pair of boxers!" He said aloud as he searched for some sweats that would suit him.

After finding what seemed would fit him, he found the bathroom and turned the water to hot. He wanted to feel that heat so bad._ 'To feel again' _he thought. He smiled as the warm liquid dripped and poured down his back. He found some shampoo that smelt of apples that he liked. Taking a shower was one of his favorite things to do. He loved the hot water, washing away his bad days and his negative thoughts. He smiled.

Hermione had just woken up when she heard the shower running. She had momentarily forgotten about Sirius being in her flat. When she had come to realize this, she started to think about what he was thinking, how long he had been up and what he had been doing before. Did he know that she had saved him? Did he know who she was at that point in time?

She hoped she would get these questions answered by the time he was done. She turned over to face into her bedroom, and saw that her draws had been pulled apart. _'What the hell was he doing?!'_ She was slightly shocked to see her underwear draw gone through. _'Pervert!'_

Then, the shower was turned off. She could hear him humming . . . and he sounded happy! This was a good thing. _'Wait till he finds out everything he has missed'_ she thought mournfully.

Sirius was finished with his, what he thought, best shower ever. He smelt of apples, which he loved, and he was anything but unhappy. He hummed as he tried to fit into the almost too snug boxers he had found in that girl's bedroom. He dressed into the sweats he had found and walked into the hallway, passing the bedroom. As he passed it, he realized, there was someone in there. He back tracked his steps and stood in the doorway. There was a beautiful woman. It was no girl, but a woman.

"Hello" He said.

"Good morning Sirius."

He slightly frowned, knowing that this girl knew him, but then he gave it a second thought and got a closer look at this woman.

"Hermione?"

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: Another chapter is done. I'm so sorry it took me so long to update. Please review. Flames welcome!

REVIEW!!!!!


	6. Chapter 6: 3am

A/n: I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that was another bad cliff. Sorry!  
  
REVIEW!  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 6: 3am

"She believes that life is made up of all that you're used to and the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days. She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway but outside it's stopped raining "

-Matchbox 20

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll"Yes?" Replied Hermione.  
  
Sirius stood there, gobsmacked. _'The Hermione Granger?! That innocent fifteen year old I used to know . . . has grown up . . . into this, young, beautiful, succulent woman?!' he thought, 'how long have I been gone?'_  
  
"Hermione . . . Granger?" He asked again, just to be sure.  
  
"That would be me." She said, more sarcastically annoyed this time. She continued to pick up all the clothes he had thrown aside earlier.  
  
He closed his mouth and stood a bit more straight, as if to make a better impression for himself. "Well, . . . um, hi." He leaned against the doorway, folding his arms. "What made you want to grow up so fast?" and he smiled that charming smile that was hidden from her eyes till now. "I always knew you were a bit more mature then everyone else, but I never knew you would actually grow up!"  
  
She loved that smile, and it made her smile in return. "Well, after a few years out of school, growing up seemed the thing to do?" She picked up he last pair of pants, folded them, and placed them back in the draw. Then she looked back at the man in he bedroom doorway and folded her arms, in a mocking way.  
  
"Miss me?" he asked, but she could not answer, she walked over to him, without looking to his face and wrapped her arms around his neck.  
  
"You have no idea."  
  
"Eleven years . . . I've missed eleven years of everybody's life." Sirius said aghast.  
  
"Well, not everybody's. There are a select few that you have missed just the beginning of their life." Hermione hinted.  
  
Sirius frowned, "What? Wait . . . kids! Who has kids! I love kids." Now smiling at the new prospect.  
  
Hermione smiled into her mug of hot chocolate, "Harry and Ginny have two and one on the way. Remus has a daughter. I'm not sure if you remember Bill, but he had a son with Fleur."  
  
"Remus has a daughter?"  
  
"Her name is Jacque, she is so cute, she looks just like her mum." Hermione smiled, but then it faded.  
  
Sirius noticed this and realized, "What happened to her?"  
  
"She was killed."  
  
Sirius looked at his mug of hot chocolate, "Who was she?"  
  
"Your cousin, Tonks." She said remorsefully.  
  
Sirius put his head in his hands, "Who else is dead? Who else is gone?" he asked in a muffled voice.  
  
Hermione sighed and pushed her hair back and out of her face, "Well, Tonks for one. Then, Hagrid. He went with a giantess friend of his, Madame Maxime. Charlie, George, Percy, and Mr. Weasley, They were all either killed by the killing curse or tortured to insanity then killed." She heaved a big sigh, "After them, Severus Snape and Alastor Moody who were the last to die before Draco Malfoy. He was on our side."  
  
Sirius concentrated, "Malfoy? He was on our side?"  
  
"More or less. He was on my side." Hermione had gotten upset and Sirius could feel her tense up.  
  
Sirius witnessed a tear fall down her cheek, "Were you guys close?"  
  
"About a month after our engagement, he was killed by his father." She wiped the tear from her cheek and then looked to see Sirius reaction. He had remorse in his fallen face, regret in his cold eyes, and forgiveness in his form.  
  
After the comment, Sirius tried to make the mood lighter, but Hermione stepped in, "Yeah, so Jacque is about four now, that's Remus's daughter. James is about the same age, that's Harry's first son. George is about two. The third child is supposed to be born some time in the next two months, March." She smiled to Sirius. "Bill and Fleur had a son who is about six now, his name is Jack."  
  
Sirius looked away from Hermione and looked around the room, "I suppose you don't have any kids?"  
  
She laughed at the comment, "No, no kids for me. I'm just Auntie 'Mione."  
  
Sirius mocked her in a childish tone, "Come play with me Auntie 'Mione! I want to go out and play! Come on!" He tugged on the arm of her shirt for emphasis. "Come on!"  
  
"Stop it!" She laughed, "God, you sound just like them!" Sirius just laughed harder.  
  
"I don't think I've laughed this hard in awhile," laughed Sirius. "But, then again, when would I have had the time?"  
  
Hermione laughed, "Well, you know." She looked at the clock on the wall, _'eleven o'clock,'_ "Hey, Remus should be here soon. I think he wants to see if you've woken up yet. Plus, he might bring Jacque."  
  
Sirius beamed, _'My best friend had settled with my cousin, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Now he's raising his daughter, he had kids before me! Wow.'_  
  
"Really? I can't wait to see him. When will we make the rounds to see everyone else?" He laughed and finished off his mug of now cool hot chocolate.  
  
Hermione finished off her tasty hot chocolate; "We can always go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. That is the Weasley's joke shop, it you remember the twins talking about it. Now Fred runs it with Mrs. Weasley. After his other half was killed, he was never the same, but never lost his laugh." She sighed, "He properly thought he should have kept on laughing for George."  
  
Sirius grimaced slightly. He always loved having the two Weasley twins that worshiped his every prank and wrongdoing. "How long ago did all of this happen?"  
  
"About two years, two years in April." She got up and took their glasses to the sink. Just then the unmistakable sound of someone at the door sounded and a few knocks.  
  
"Remus, it's unlocked. Just come in!" Just as she said this, Remus walked in with the bustling child of Jacque.  
  
Sirius smiled at the child as she looked at him with a smile, "and who's this? Is your name Jacque?"  
  
"Yes" she said to him shyly. "Who are you?"  
  
"Well my name is Sirius."  
  
Her whole face lit up at these words and she jumped into his arms. "Daddy, daddy! It's uncle Sirius! You told me he would be here!" Sirius looked at his old friend in questioning,_ 'Uncle Sirius?'_ he mouthed to the man on the opposite side of the room.  
  
Remus beamed at his friend. He slowly walked over to him and when Sirius rose, they embraced for a long time. "I thought I'd never ever see you again Padfoot." Remus said.  
  
"I love you too Remus." Sirius said.  
  
On the side lines, Hermione was getting misty and choked up, "Stop it guys! You're going to make me cry!"  
  
Remus walked over to Hermione and hugged her. "It's good to see you too dear." And he kissed her on the cheek.  
  
"Oh cut it out you guys! Let's sit down and have some more hot chocolate or tea." They all ushered to the table and sat. Just as soon as they were talking and laughing, Hermione stood.  
  
"Well, I have to go to work. You guys can stay here and hang together. I'll be back some time around nine." Sirius frowned at this. He was enjoying her company immensely.  
  
Hermione gathered her things and hugged Remus goodbye. Then she walked over to Sirius and gave him a hug goodbye, but as she pulled away, he kissed her on the cheek. She gave him a little look, but he just smiled back at her. "Thank you Hermione. I'll see you when you get home."  
  
And she walked to work, to think over what Sirius had just done. _'Did he really just kiss me on the cheek?_' and she giggled her entire way to work in the cold December air.  
  
Remus and Sirius continued to talk until later. They never felt the need to leave the charming qualities of Hermione's flat. Then Remus thought of what Sirius had done as he bid goodbye to Hermione.  
  
"Why did you kiss Hermione?"  
  
Sirius gave Remus an incredulous look, "What are you talking about? It was just a thank you peck on the cheek."  
  
"Sure it was."  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllA/n: Thank you to those of who read my story, and a bigger thanks to those who read and review my story. A quick warning, though, in August, if I am still writing this, I will be away most of the time, so there may not be very many updates. I'm sorry in advance for the troubles.  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!! 


	7. Chatper 7: Tonight, Not Again

A/n: thank you to all of the happy little reviewers, remember, the more reviewers I get, and the more often I review. Just to let you know I usually update every two to four maybe even five days, but never more often then that! And that's a 'Mai Promise!' Please Review!  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 7: Tonight, Not Again

"Well if you should nervously break down, when its time for the shakedown would you take it? It's when you cry just a little but you laugh in the middle that you've made it, and don't it feel all right and don't it feel so nice.  
Lovely."

–Jason Mraz

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllAfter Hermione had left for work, Remus and Sirius had gotten into discussing what were the happenings when Sirius was gone.  
  
". . . Truly nothing happened right after you have gone. We continued to use your house for The Order and everyone went on living, in a matter of speaking." Remus stated.  
  
Sirius looked up, "What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, the spark had really disappeared. Everybody had his or her own sense of sadness for your absence. For Harry, he would lock himself up in his room for days." Remus frowned at the not so fond memories, "For Ron, he would be quite and stayed out of the way. For Hermione, she would get lost to herself reading or something. The kids did not deal with it as good as the adults, because they had not seen great losses, except for Harry really, but he never got to be with his parents like he did you, you know?" Remus heaved a sigh.  
  
Sirius didn't really know what to say. He really didn't have control over what had happened, and he was sorry that it did, but nothing he could ever do could change that.  
  
Remus perked up, but was still not in a bouncy or happy mood, "You know, after they had gotten out of school, they were a little bit better off. As predicted, Hermione was first in her class. Ron and Harry had gone on to be Aurors while Hermione shied to a desk job for some reason."  
  
Looking up, Sirius looked to Remus, "Did you know she was engaged to Malfoy?" He asked, almost harshly.  
  
"Yes, everyone knew. It was in the news, non-stop talk about Malfoy marrying a muggle-born." Remus then asked, "Did it surprise you?"  
  
"Surprise me?! I was shocked! What happened?" Sirius practically yelled.  
  
Remus frowned, "Well, after they had all graduated, Draco had gone against his father all-out. He had gone to Dumbledor and asked to join the Order." Remus sighed, "None of us had expected this, but we let him in, not trusting him at first. So, we paired him up to work with Hermione and within two years, we found out that they were in a relationship. After that, they got engaged. They were totally in love." Sirius frowned at this, "But, all good things must come to an end. After their engagement, I don't know how long they were . . ."

"Two months." Remus gave him a questioning look, "Hermione told me."

Remus went on, "Draco was killed by Lucius." Remus breathed out a breath, harder then intended, "Of course, everyone was sad because over the three or so years we had with him, they were great. We found Draco to be a most worthy friend, great person, and for one, a wonderful partner. I don't think Hermione has ever been the same. She's lost a great deal to Voldemort."  
  
"She's got me now." Sirius said, to lighten the spirit a bit.  
  
"Even Harry was on the brink of tears when Draco was killed."  
  
"No!"  
  
"Yes. He was a very good friend with Draco. They had more in common then you would have thought." Remus said, giving Sirius a thoughtful look.  
  
Sirius reclined in his chair a bit more to comfortable, "Yeah . . . Hey, where is Jacque?"  
  
"She properly fell asleep on Hermione's bed. That's the only reason I come here so often. Jacque loved to be around Hermione." Remus said, looking out a window, it was a new moon, the ground outside was lit by nothing. Remus was at his most neutral state.  
  
"That's good because I was starting to wonder about you, Moony. Coming over the sweet, innocent, and single Hermione's. How often are you here? Three times a week?" Sirius smiled at Remus.  
  
Remus looked at Sirius with a, _'don't you go there look.'_  
  
"Come on Remus look at her!"  
  
Remus smirked at this comment, "What are you talking about?" He smirk grew as he said this in a knowing tone.  
  
"Don't act like you don't see it! You know what I'm talking about Moony."  
  
"I haven't the slightest clue." Remus started to chuckle to himself.  
  
Sirius sat there, mouth open, "Fine, then I'll say it!" he stood up, and "She is gorgeous, she is pretty, and witty! I thought you would get together with a girl like her!"  
  
"Who are you guys talking about?" Came a female voice from the hallway.  
  
Sirius straightened up, "No one . . . just . . . someone."  
  
Hermione smiled, "Okay, fine keep me in the shadows, but his means you have to make me dinner!" she walked out of the room. Sirius looked at Remus, because Remus was laughing at him.  
  
"What, you don't think your helping?"  
  
Realizing it was late, they made something simple and sweet. Peanut butter and jam sandwiches to be exact. They even put a little bit of butter between the peanut butter and the bread so the peanut butter would not stick to the roof of their mouths.  
  
"You know, when I said dinner I expected more, guys." Hermione looked around the table accusingly at Sirius and Remus, picking up her sandwich.  
  
Remus flatly stated, "Sirius's fault. It was his idea." Without even looking up at Sirius's reaction to the blame put on him.  
  
"Moony, you devil!"  
  
"Werewolf to be exact." Remus corrected him, put could not keep his poker face as he ate the delectable sandwich. They all laughed for a while until it was almost time for Remus to be heading home, via floo.  
  
After finishing the cleaning, Remus and Hermione looked at Sirius, "Remus and I have come to the conclusion that you should stay here for the night." Hermione kept eye contact, "We just think that because I have accommodations for you and Remus does not."  
  
Sirius nodded, "Sounds good to me. What are we doing tomorrow?"  
  
"Well, I'm going home, goodnight 'Mione, _Sirius_." They all hugged and Remus left with his sleeping daughter.  
  
"I have work tomorrow, but you can have Harry over. I will let you know thought, that no one knows that you are here except for Remus and myself." Hermione sighed, "We didn't want anyone to get excited just incase it did not work out, you know?"  
  
Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I understand." Sirius got a twinkle in his eye; "We should have a party here! And I'll make a grand entrance, it'll be great!"  
  
Hermione smiled and chuckled lightly, "Sounds like a plan. How about, when I'm at work, you can clean up my house a bit for me. Then you can start to write invitations, but sign them in my name."  
  
"Can we have it this weekend? Please?" Sirius begged.  
  
"Yes, how about Saturday?" Sirius nodded, "Great then, this Saturday, Were gonna have a party here. Sometime between two and three should be good."  
  
Sirius liked to talk to Hermione. She was easy going, and laughed easily and smiled willingly. It wasn't even so hard to strike up a serious conversation either. She was wonderful.  
  
"Sirius?" Hermione asked him, for he had been spacing out on her.  
  
"Yeah that sounds good." He smiled.  
  
They had sometime before they had to be ready, but they discussed most of the party out. They were going to have catering and a DJ.  
  
Sirius smiled at being able to see everyone he had known before, all grown up and moving on, but in turn, it made him sad at all the faces he knew he would never get to see again. He frowned.  
  
Hermione picked up on this, "What's the matter?" she said sensitively.  
  
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, "I was thinking . . . Something . . . I don't know."  
  
"I want you to tell me."  
  
Sirius looked her in those toffee orbs of hers, "Everything I missed, everyone who is gone, people who are gone. I'm just upset that I wasn't here for them."  
  
Hermione placed her hands over his resting on the table, she looked down, searching for an answer, "I know it upsets you, but there was not anything you could have done to prevent what had happened. Everything that happened had absolutely nothing to do with you . . ."  
  
"I wish it had! I wish I could have _been there_!" Sirius pratically screamed, "I wish I could have made a difference." He said this more calmly.  
  
Hermione pulled a chair next to him and wrapped her arm around his back, "I'm sorry, but you can't."  
  
Sirius looked over his arm to her. He stood up, and held her hands so she would too, they were standing so close, Sirius could feel her breath on his chest, "Thank you, for everything." And he hugged her close.  
  
They let go, and went to bed. Sirius didn't sleep a wink, but he thought. He thought about a lot of things, one thing being a certain brunette . . .  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: Thanks to my reviewers. Thank you!

REVIEW!!!!!!!!


	8. Chapter 8: Kiss of a Rose

A/n: Sorry for the so long wait, I spent the weekend at my aunt's house, I didn't have time to send this out before I left . . . sorry . . . so . . . hey again! Just to let you know I'm not going to leave any large amount of chapters before I go away in August, but I will write ONE very large chapter to captivate your minds. Just so you know I will not be home to update on the dates below:

July 31st-August 2nd (I don't think these few days will matter though.)

August 7th-15th(I will not have any access to a computer here.)

And

August 17th-25th (I will have access to a computer, so you may see an update! It all depends on how much time I have.)

Now, I might get a chance between the 15th of August and the 17th of August, but I'm not quite sure.

Anyway . . . on with 'Finding'

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 8: Kiss of a Rose

But did you know, that when it snows, my eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen. I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray. The more I get of you stranger it feels, now that your rose is in bloom, a light hits the gloom on the grave. Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray"

-Seal

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Harry was mulling around the kitchen making breakfast. He had just woken up and wanted to surprise his beautiful wife with breakfast in bed. He hummed and worked fast, toasting toast, sizzling scrambled eggs, and frying bacon.

The intoxication smell had awoken young James. He walked down each step carefully, with his loveable stuffed dragon in tow. As Harry went to turn towards the stove from buttering toast, he saw his son sitting in the doorway to the kitchen from the living room.

James was adorable. Harry thought how vulnerable he looked, standing there with his stuffed friend. James had evergreen forest eyes, like his parents, but had brownish hair. His little belly stuck out from the shirt he hadn't noticed to pull down yet, it was too cute from Harry's point from view. As the child rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the father came over and picked him up.

"Good morning James. Would you like some breakfast?" Harry placed his son in a booster seat at the island in the kitchen. The boy nodded and watched his father continue to cook.

Harry had put together three plates of eggs, toast, and bacon together for Ginny, James, and himself. He woke his wife up with a kiss and gave to her breakfast. After receiving an acceptance smile, he walked back down stairs to eat with his son.

Upon finishing, Ginny walked down stairs with a 'good morning' echoing through the kitchen. She smiled, with one hand on her back to help her support the extra weight on her front and the other holding her breakfast tray. She was getting to look 'really pregnant' and her moods were in and out. If she was allowed to wake whenever, she would be fine for a while, or al least until something crossed her path.

She shuffled slowly across the kitchen and put the tray next to the sink. As she placed it down, an owl landed on the windowsill and started to peck at the window. Ginny opened up the window.

"Hello, who is this from?" She picked up the letter and handed it to Harry who was sitting at the table the owl and landed on.

Harry looked at the writing and saw the signing at the bottom, "It's from Hermione, but her writing seems a bit messy." He read the letter and smiled, "It's an invitation! For this Saturday, she says to bring the kids and it's a surprise party, but she doesn't say for who." He flipped it over a few times and frowned.

"Don't worry dear." Ginny comforted, "I'm sure we won't need to know, but I want you to owl her and let her know that we can and will make it, okay?" She told him more than asked him, but he nodded in agreement and the day went on a usual.

Remus was about to walk out, leaving Ron in his house, when a familiar owl started to tap on his window.

"Don't worry Remus, I'll get it. It's just from Hermione." Ron said heading to the window.

Remus jumped up from the doorway and ran ahead, he didn't want Ron to see the letter, just incase it concealed anything about Sirius in it. "No, Ron! I've got it." He snatched the letter from the owl and was out in seconds.

Ron looked after the door was shut, "Well, that was strange." And he ran his hands through his hair, ruffled it, and went on the search for Jacque, she was hiding, Jacque always hid whenever she knew Ron was coming over to baby-sit. It's her ritual.

After running away as fast as possible, Remus had read the invitation and immediately realized it was Sirius's hand. 'What in the devil . . ?' He grimaced, 'What is he doing?' He walked to work as he usually did, thinking of what Sirius and Hermione were planning. He also thought about why?

Sending out the last invitation to everyone he could think of, Sirius started to clean as much as the flat before Hermione got home. He washed the kitchen floor, swept the living room and dining room, and vacuumed the hallway. He did some dusting, and as he did so, he paraded around to the music playing in the back round, some radio station that Hermione had been listening the other day. He didn't know the song, so it didn't matter much.

After he accomplished the cleaning, he took the liberty to start making dinner. Pulling out some lettuce, croutons, cucumbers, sliced almonds, and tomatoes he made a salad. He placed and tossed all those ingredients into a large bowl and set it on the dining room table. He danced his way back into the kitchen and started put a pan onto the stove and preheated the pan. He found the hidden pork chops in the back of the fridge, and placed them in the already hot pan, sizzling. Just as he did so, Sirius heard the door unlock and open.

"Hello, Sirius I'm home." Sirius liked the sound of that. He walked into the front hall and greeted Hermione.

He smiled, "I've cleaned, sent out invitations to some people, and I've made dinner!" He looked to Hermione for approval.

She stood there for a minute and then put her bag down and took off her coat, "Wow! You got a lot done, thank you. What are you making for dinner?"

Sirius walked her into the kitchen, "Pork chops, some vegetables, and salad. What do you think?"

"Wonderful!" She smiled and walked to her bedroom. She came out in something a bit more comfortable, pajamas. She walked through the kitchen, got a placement for two, and set it up in the dining room. Sirius continued to cook the main course, while Hermione got started on the vegetables. Sirius looked down at her form to his right. She was putting some green beans in a pot. Sirius smiled at her, she didn't see it, and he wanted her attention. So, what else is there to do but get it? He bumped his hip into her side and looked away from her.

Hermione looked up to see Sirius; he was paying close attention to the cooking item in front of him. She looked away from his face and continued what she was doing.

She seemed a little irritable, and Sirius was not satisfied with the attention he didn't get. So he bumped into her again, just a little harder.

Hermione stepped away from the stove, looking slightly angry, "Stop doing that!" She stood back next to him, stirring what was in the pot. She sighed heavy.

Sirius sat there, slightly aghast, "What?"

She just ignored him.

"Oh, what? This?" He bumped into her a third time.

This time she just punched him in his side, a little less harder then she could have, if she really wanted to hurt him, which she didn't. "Now, cut it out, or else!"

Sirius could help but look at her and smile, "Or else what?" He asked daringly and slyly.

She gave him a menacing look, looking like a child with her hands on her hips, searching for an answer; "or else . . . or else . . . We won't have the party on Saturday!" She ended with emphasis and a smile of success.

He laughed, still looking at her, "Hermione, you wound me." He turned back to the almost done dinner.

She placed herself next to Sirius, and pulled the now boiling vegetables off the stove and stalked off into the dining room with them. She put them on the table, and walked back into the kitchen, grabbed the half gallon of milk, poured two glasses, and brought them into the dining room, where Sirius was placing the chops on their plates. After putting the dirty pans in the sink, turning the stove off, and putting the milk away, they sat, and ate.

Casual talk was what the subject was. Mostly of their day and the upcoming Saturday plans, who were so far invited, and other general things. It was relaxing and soothing. Hermione noticed that Sirius had a certain glow and shine in his eye that she enjoyed just staring at for ever. It made her warm to see him smile and light up.

The next two days were spent lounging and shopping. Sirius stayed in and did any chores around the flat, not wanting to ruin the biggest surprise of his life and go outside, just so no one can see him. Remus stopped by once to see what the two diabolical ones were up to for the following weekend. Satisfied, he came and gone. Like the wind.

Hermione worked and did food shopping, deciding against catering. She didn't have enough room in her flat for A DJ, so her and Sirius had decided against that too.

Friday night was the two, just hanging out, watching television. They played a few games of chess. Hermione learned a few things. They finished the night, all the lights in the house off, with only a few candles lit in the dining room. They drank hot chocolate and sat in silence, soaking in the atmosphere. The next day was going to be the biggest event in years.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: I'm truly sorry for the terribly long wait. You are very patient. Don't flame please!

REVIEW!!!!!!!


	9. Chapter 9: Satellite

A/n: Okay, okay, here it is, man. My new chapter! Hope that you like it, there isn't much to say except REVIEW!!!!

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 9: Satellite

"Winter's cold spring erases, and the calm away by the storm is chasing, everything good needs replacing. Look up, look down all around, hey satellite"

-Dave Matthews Band

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

"Good morning." It was general and the only thing said that morning between the practical roommates. It was almost homely to have each other over the uncompleted week. Finally, it was Saturday morning. The sun, it shown through all the windows, the only access of light. Soothing. Calm . . . Home.

It was a beautiful day that began relaxed, soon to be hectic. People would be arriving soon, and Hermione didn't want this perfect sunny day to be ruined.

Mrs. Weasley was coming over soon. She had demanded that Hermione let her do at least some of the cooking, which soon worked its way slowly into all of the cooking. Hermione didn't mind much. She was being a little aloof anyway. The week had passed so sweetly; she feared a toothache. Sirius had just about pampered her to heaven, dinner every night and the silence she craved to have to sip hot chocolate. The whole world seemed to be on her side, or it seemed to go away too.

The morning was one of her favorite times of the day. It depicted how the rest of her day went. She and Sirius had a peaceful breakfast, followed with sitting on the couch in their pajamas till ten, talking and looking out the window. Slow and steady, they got dress and set up how they wanted things to go.

Hermione frowned, "How are you going to know when to come out?"

Sirius turned to face her from the door way he was about to walk through, "Well, I don't know, I guess I'll just come out when you tell me everyone is here and no one has eaten yet." Hermione's frown grew, "Well that's how it looked in my head." He continued through the doorway into his room.

Some time after one had passed, Sirius went into the room he slept in and took a shower in the bathroom supplied with the room. He took a long one to waste time. Scolding hot water, dripping down his back. His head against the wall, which where the water streamed from. It burnt every where it touched him but it felt all the same. He washed his hair and conditioned it; he washed himself and relaxed in the still scorching hot water. 'Well, that's what my mum always told me what my name had meant in Latin.' He thought to himself and chuckled at his own silly little joke.

Hermione had just heard the shower turn on as Mrs. Weasley bustled through the living room into the kitchen. "Good afternoon Hermione dear. How are you doing?" She walked over to Hermione and gave her a peck on each cheek and hugged her. The two women continued into the kitchen to quickly whip up some entrees for snacking and such. They only had enough time for so much before people started to show up. First came Remus, who showed up with Jacque. Ron, Harry, Ginny and their kids, and Fred followed them in. Already, it was like an Order reunion. More so, when Dumbledor and McGonagall showed up. Sirius had gone to the extent to invite Mundungus and Kingsly who showed up at separate times. It was almost weird for Hermione because Sirius had forgotten to mention all the people he had invited. It was now strange that all these people had showed.

Hermione had gone in to check up on Sirius. She went to his door, knocked, and whispered, "Sirius? Are you ready?"

Just as she said this, her popped his head out, "Um, I hope so. I'm feeling kind of queasy. Sick. Nervous." He was on his way to hysterics making Hermione crazy, "How are they going to react when they see me? It's been years, I . . ."

Hermione put her hand over his mouth, "Shut up, your hysterical." She chuckled. "Now, I'm going to walk around that corner, and say 'I have a surprise for you all tonight, which is why, blah blah blah.' Then, you're going to come out and . . . well, you know, it's all down hill from there." She smiled. "Good luck." She patted his cheek.

Sirius smiled to her, "Thank you Hermione." His gaze had moved from her eyes, to her lips, and finally to her cheek. He placed his lips to her cheek and murmured, 'Thank you' before she walked away in almost awe. She felt floaty and she stood in the doorway to the hallway. Looking at all of the people talking and reminiscing of the past. 'They don't know what is about to hit them!' she thought to herself, giggling.

She looked behind her to see Sirius looking at her from around the corner. She shooed him away, and he turned around, so no one would see him. She once again looked at all of these people's lives that were about to change drastically.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Then she pointed to James, George, and Jacque, "Boys and girls. I have a special surprise for all of you." Hermione made sure she had everyone's attention before she began to talk again, "Yes, there is a reason as to why you were invited here today. It wasn't called a surprise party for nothing." Hermione could see Remus getting a little choked up as he laughed softly, but she just winked at him with her toffee eyes, "Last Monday, Remus and I did something extraordinary. Would you like to see it?" She smiled to all the people.

A few piped up and responded with 'yes' and sat with anticipation. Then Hermione turned, and called out into the hallway. "May I present to, the one and only, Sirius . . . Orion . . . Black." Hermione never once dared to look at the people staring down the hallway as the man she had spent the past few days with walked down the hall, forever. Sirius smiled to her and Hermione turned to everyone.

Not one single person spoke.

Awe.

Harry was the first to react. He almost ran to Sirius immediately. He tightly wrapped his arms around his godfather, with more love and longing then he had ever thought he could possess at one moment. Then soon everyone began to be broken of the shock and went to hug the two associated with the bringing back of Sirius Black. There were some women who cried. Hermione couldn't help herself when Harry had run to Sirius like that.

Words were exchanged, questions were asked, and relationships were bounded. Harry kept thanking Hermione for what she had done.

"How did you do it?" Ron asked, once a few people had left and it was primarily family. "I just don't get it."

Hermione laughed, "I don't know, but it surely unexpected." Remus had heard this, and he too laughed. Everyone looked at the two with questioning looks, especially Sirius, "What is this? Look, Ron, I don't even know how they did it. As far as I am concerned, they could have sacrificed a goat for me. I don't know." And everyone laughed at his random joke. Harry had taken Ginny and his two sons, James and George home, but returned to hang out with his godfather, two best friends, and old professor.

They five of them stayed together until the wee hours of the morning. Remus had taken Jacque home because she had fallen asleep on Hermione's bed. Ron left a half an hour after him. Harry had left after Ron, asking continuously for Sirius to come spend the night some time to catch up.

Hermione hadn't the strength to clean the house, and even less strength to get to bed before she fell asleep on the couch. Sirius had been all too sleepy from all the attention and battering of chatter. He relaxed by watching his favorite show, Hermione sleeping, and sipping a warm drink.

After an hour, he grew weary, and carried Hermione off to bed. As he placed her in her sheets, Sirius heard her whisper something almost incoherent; "I love you Padfoot." And all of a sudden, Sirius felt a hundred times lighter, and slept better then he could ever remember. The world made sense again.

After hearing this comment, he went to his room to think. Did he really belong here, with Hermione, the two of them alone in the same house? Maybe. He wasn't sure. He now needed more time to think about it. Also, did Hermione say what she said, because she had meant it? Or, was it because she was dreaming? Was she dreaming of him? His mind was racing, and it made him absolutely crazy.

He wanted to think of getting to start to get back to his life and getting out on his own, but the thought of 'Mione was making him nuts.

He slept little that night. The minutes were marching by, and suddenly he got an idea to help him vent a little. Something he could do to get his feelings out. He would write a letter of everything he was feeling. Everything that was on his mind and most of it was Hermione.

Sirius sat down, with a little light on, and began to write. It was pure and private. It was secret and sure. He felt like there was nothing that could break him now. Even though, it would be highly embarrassing if anyone were to find something so . . . personal.

Harry came home late that night. Ginny was fast asleep and so weren't the kids. He smiled about everything that he thought of, which was Sirius. He was almost whole now. His new family filled a part of his he never knew he had, but that hole Sirius left was left open and abandoned. Harry now felt complete. He had the closest thing to a dad now, maybe the closest he would ever get. It made him happy.

He rolled over and wrapped his long arms around his wife's now large stomach. He drifted off into something more then sleep, it was pure and honest happiness.

It was Sunday. Hermione and Sirius spent the day together. They cleaned the flat, which turned into a tickling match, because Sirius couldn't keep his hands to himself. Hermione took no notice to this. Sirius thought to himself how oblivious she could be, no matter how smart she seemed to be.

But what Sirius didn't know was that Hermione knew everything. She was now laughing at how oblivious he was.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: I was just in a writing mood, from all of the reviews I got so suddenly! Thank you!

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!


	10. Chapter 10: She will be loved

A/n: Thank you to all of those who reviewed! You are all rockin'! (Lol) Any who, please read, enjoy, and review! Much love for those few that do regularly! Oh and, to let you know, just incase you haven't noticed, I have been increasing the chapter size, little by little!  
  
REVIEW!!!!  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 10: She will be loved

"I know where you hide, alone in your car, know all of the things that make you who you are. I know that goodbye means nothing at all, comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls"

-Maroon5

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllIt was a highly eventful day, for Sirius at least. He had gotten to hold her in his arms, though it was brief, he felt it anyway. After the tickling was over, Sirius was content and without thinking, enraptured Hermione in a big bear hug. Hermione had stopped moving around, but had sat for a moment. They sat there, her back to his chest, and she felt his breathing change and heard his heart beat slightly faster.  
  
She had closed her eyes to take in his warmth. Then her mind flashed back to Remus's words, just over a week before, _'You had that pull, that love to actually do something about it. Now if that is not love, then I do not know what to call it.'_ Hermione came to realize the situation. Not wanting to be suspicious, she slowly reached back and tickled Sirius under his armpits so he had to let go.  
  
"I think now the time has come, for us to go out!" Hermione said defiantly, standing up.  
  
Sirius frowned at this, "What . . . Why? Where?" he stood, "We were having so much fun." He almost whined.  
  
Hermione just pushed his chest, "I'd love to spend the entire day in my flat with you, but I would rather accomplish something before I want to be back in . . . three hours." Hermione left the living room and walked to her room and called from it, "Were leaving in ten minutes! By floo!"  
  
Sirius had then realized that no one knew he was alive, so maybe he could go as Sirius Black and not as Padfoot, even though Hermione loves him, or so she said . . . Maybe. He thought now if she had meant it, truly. She had just sat in his arms, obviously happy. Maybe he was lucky, maybe not. Just then, Hermione had come out from the hallway. She wore a deep blue robe with black embroidering with a pair of tight denim bell-bottoms also sporting a concert shirt, the band, Sirius did not recognize.  
  
Hermione smiled to herself, but scowled at Sirius. She looked at him and put her hands on her hips, "What, it's nothing you haven't seen before. So, stop staring. Let's go"  
  
Sirius had been knocked out of his lost thoughts and looked around nervously. Running his hands through his hair, letting his hand rest on the back of his neck.  
  
Hermione walked over to her fireplace, which was not lit, turned to Sirius, "We're going to Diagon Alley," she threw some Floo Powder into the mantel and electric green flames flew up. She stepped forward, leaving the bag of the powder behind for Sirius, "The Leaky Cauldron!" and she was gone in a pop.  
  
Sirius just shrugged, and followed suit. They had arrived and only a select people took notice. A few people turned their head, but soon went back to whatever they were doing. One or two people gave Sirius a questioning look, wondering who this guy was.  
  
"Come on, let's get you some robes and clothes." Hermione pulled his out of the pub, into Diagon Alley through the secret passage.  
  
Sirius thought to himself, _'it still hasn't changed.'_ He mused at this. They walked around for about two hours, first reactivating Sirius account at Gringotts, then finding some robes that Hermione was satisfied for Sirius to wear and Sirius thought were comfortable. Later, after lunch, they had under half an hour till Hermione had wanted to get back, so they went to find Sirius some clothes. Satisfied with some tight, snuggly jeans and random T-shirts that would compliment his physique, they had gone back to _'The Leaky Cauldron'_ and they went back to Hermione's flat.  
  
Hermione sat down on the couch, "Now, I want you to go into your room, and give me a modeling session." She had practically squealed with excitement as she sat down on a couch in the living room  
  
Sirius gave Hermione a shocked look, his mouth hanging open, then decided it would be fun, and trudged off to his room. He sifted through the clothes, looking for something that caught his eye, hoping beyond hope, that it would also catch hers. He liked pleasing her, making her smile.  
  
He came out a few minutes later, Hermione smiled. What he wore reminded her of when Draco used to do this for her. He would run around their flat, parading in what ever he had most recently gotten. These were memories of fonder times.  
  
Sirius continued to go back and forth. From his room, to the living room, around it, and finally back to his room to repeat in other clothes. His last outfit, he saved because he thought Hermione would like it a great deal. It was a gray turtleneck that he wore with tight fitting blue jeans. He had hoped he would have gotten a positive reaction, but was wrongly mistaken. Hermione had looked at him, her smile had faded, and her look cold.  
  
"Hermione. What's wrong? Don't you like it?" Sirius looked at her, something clicked, and she was not there.  
  
_"Don't you like it Hermione? I bought it especially for your pleasure." Draco had walked over to her, with that sly smile, which changed to an almost worried frown. He kneeled on one knee, and placed his hands on her lap. He took her hands in his, "Hermione Ann Granger, I love you. More then anything I could ever love. Because of this I uh, . . . I want you to . . . I want you to marry me."  
  
He stared up into her toffee eyes with hope and fear. His facial expression had changed when that one single word he had hoped to hear was muttered, "Yes." He embraced her. Picked her up, held her in his arms and twirled in excitement. She was giggling and he, laughing. This was the happiest day of her life. She would never forget it._  
  
Hermione was now staring into the eyes of Sirius Black, but she took no notice, "I'm going to my room."  
  
She stood up and stepped away from him. Like in a trance, she walked down the hall, into her room, leaving a very baffled Sirius behind, _'Did I say something wrong?'_ he thought.  
  
Sirius went back to the room he was staying in. Thinking of what just happened, he was confused. He owled Remus, to see if there was any reason for this awkward situation but didn't receive a response that day.  
  
Hermione had stayed in her room the entire day, wondering why she let herself forget. Why hadn't she realized she wasn't ready to face the world like this yet? She now felt cold at the part of her that was presumably dead. It was cold. She was heartbroken. No longer homely like it was that morning. She remembered all that was forgotten, and cried. She was still raw from Draco and she didn't realize it till Sirius had actually _looked_ like Draco.  
  
She decided that she had to push herself away from Sirius. She was getting too close, too soon. Now it hurt that she had to do this to him. She felt as though she had led him on someway. Now it didn't matter because it hurt anyway. She had forgotten him.  
  
Hermione feel asleep, crying. She hadn't woken up until the next morning when the sun had shone through her window. The memories of the night before had came flooding back. She hid her face and her pillow, letting out a heavy sigh. She decided it was making her depressed, and now wanted something to eat to push all the bad behind.  
  
She poked her head out of her bedroom, shuffled into the kitchen without even gazing at his bedroom door. She poured a bowl of cereal, ate it, went to her room, took a shower and dressed. After completing these tasks, she took a picture of Draco out of her dresser. It was a picture of him standing and posing against a doorframe. He had on a dark green jumper and black dress pants. He stands there and runs his hand through his platinum hair that's down to his chin then. He has on his glasses. He only wore them for her.  
  
She frowned. Why? Why had this have to happen to her now? Why did she have to remember and get thrown into a mood? She hated feeling like this.  
  
She decided she wanted to clear her mind for a while and left a note to Sirius. She went out for a walk around London, staying clear of anything where she would be recognized by anyone from the wizard world. She went into shops and parks. Taking in the beautiful day. Breath by breath.  
  
Waking late, Sirius took a shower to wake up from sleeping too long. Finishing, he walked out into the kitchen. Glancing into the dining room, there was a note on the table. He picked it up.  
  
_Sirius,  
  
I'm dreadfully sorry about last night. I've gone out for the day to clear my mind a bit. I'll be back later tonight after work. Sorry to leave you alone all day, feels free to do as you please. See you later  
  
Hermione_  
  
He didn't understand what was wrong. It was obvious that she was now avoiding her. Why? Seeing he was not finding his answer, he decided he would floo to Harry.  
  
He flooed to Harry's house, Godric Hollow. He popped up in what was presumably the living room. It was very homely.  
  
"Harry?" Sirius looked around a little boy came around the corner.  
  
"Sirius?" The boy asked.  
  
"George? Uh . . . Is you father home?"  
  
George frowned, "No. Daddy isn't home, but my mum is. I'm gonna go get her." George ran away quickly. After a few minutes, a very pregnant Ginny appeared.  
  
"Sirius, what a pleasant surprise! I'm sorry Harry isn't here, he's had a call earlier this morning." Ginny walked over to him and hugged him lightly.  
  
"That's alright. I'd like to talk to you then." Sirius asked with a questioning hopeful look on his face.  
  
Ginny gave him a weird look, "Oh, okay. What would you like to talk about?" She led him into the kitchen and offered him a drink.  
  
"No thanks, I would like to talk to you about Hermione." Sirius asked sitting at the kitchen table.  
  
Ginny gave him a questioning look, "What about her?"  
  
He ran his fingers through his hair, "Well you see the last night, we had gone shopping. We went to Diagon Alley, did some business with Gringotts, and bought me some clothes." Ginny nodded. "When we got back to her flat I tried on some of the clothes on for her."  
  
Ginny interrupted him, "By any chance, did you put on a jumper and nice looking pants?" Sirius nodded, "I see, well, Draco and her used to do that all the time. He loved to pose for her. Let her take pictures and all. Modeling stuff. That's how he proposed to her, you know?" Sirius nodded in understanding. "You properly did something that reminded her of him. It properly scared her."  
  
Sirius frowned slightly, "Thanks Ginny." he stood and smiled, "I'm glad you told me, 'cause I don't think she was that willing to tell me." He hugged her and went back to Hermione's flat.  
  
He decided he better not get in the way of Hermione that day. He looked on the table and there was yet another note on the table. He had gotten a response from Remus telling him to come over, which he did. Sirius went over Remus's and they hung out for the day.  
  
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllA/n: Do you all know what Saturday is? It's my one-month anniversary writing this story! Yay, clap for me. lol. Okay so guess what:  
  
REVIEW!!!!! 


	11. Chapter 11: Vindicated

A/n: Sorry for the terribly long wait must have been dreadful! Since the 22nd! Any who . . . Tad confused right now. Um, I guess on with my story, longer and extended to my absence over the following two and a half weeks!

This chapter is dedicated to my aunt and mum, for being so helpful and guiding! If you were wondering, they have been a big help here with this story. I also dedicate this to SilverFoxBlueFox, Rane2920072, and Padfootz-luvr for being such wonderful reviewers!

Much Love, Mwah

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 11: Vindicated

"So turn up the corners of your lips. Part them and feel my fingertips. Trace the moment, fall forever. Defense is paper-thin. Just one touch and I'd be in too deep now to ever swim against the current.  
So let me slip away"

-Dashboard Confessional

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

It had been difficult now. Life had gone on from there, but it had slowed down. Hermione would wake up late in the morning, eat a late breakfast and go to work at the usual time. When she got home, which was always late, she would eat, take a shower, and go to bed. She would rarely go out on the weekends and keep to herself. She was unintentionally avoiding Sirius.

He was noticing this and decided that she was being silly. He knew why she was avoiding him. It didn't really upset him. But he thought it was going to hurt her in the end.

It may not have upset him, but it hurt him. Why would she just avoid him?

Never making eye contact was a big one. She would never ever look at his face directly. She had been cold and uneasy. Everyone else was use to her little bouts of avoidance, because since she had lost him, she would do it often, every occurrence was shorter and took longer for it to happen. She was slowly healing the loss.

"Hermione could you pass me the jam?" Sirius asked her one morning at breakfast. She slowly handed the jar to him, never lifting her face to him. As she did this, Sirius continued to stare at her face, hoping beyond hope she would look up.

She didn't. She put the offensively cold jar in his hand and went back to eating. Sirius had had enough. He stood up from his chair and walked over to her. He pulled her chair out from underneath the table, and knelt on one knee in front of her.

He looked up are her face and for the first time in a while, she made eye contact with him. Those cold and gray eyes, full of seriousness, "I've had enough of you just moping around. Hermione I think what you're doing is wrong. Stop doing this to your self. Just let him go. Let him slip away."

With that he stood from his spot. He walked to the door, put on his robe, cost, and walked out the door. He walked out into the bitterly cold air, hoping what he had said would get her out of her façade. The wind tickled his nose as he made his way around, clearing things a bit.

Hermione continued to sit in that position for a few minutes thinking over what he had just said. _'Sodding ass.' _She was upset because even though she was pushing away, she didn't want her true feelings to be known. _'How stupid could I have been, of course it was obvious! Look at the way I was treating him!'_

Now mad at herself, she cleaned up her flat, slowly and made her way to work a bit early to stop to get some hot chocolate. It always made her feel slightly better when she didn't have to make it for herself, or when it wasn't made with magic.

She slowly made her way to the booth to enter the Ministry of Magic, and made it to work almost a whole half an hour early.

He continued his escapade over London, till he wanted to make his way into Diagon alley, just for the sake of, he could.

He entered the old pub, and by now everyone and their mother knew that Sirius Black was alive and well. Not only that but he was not the murderer they thought he was five years ago.

Few people turned their heads; one even introduced himself and apologized for what had happened. Sirius did not care though, he said thank you, but it did not make anything better. He made his way around to Weasley Wizard Wheezes. He stopped in to see that Molly was manning the fort. Her old age was showing now, the death of half of her family was weighing greatly on her, it was obvious. He had a few of their butterbeers, better then The Three Broomsticks. It was really a kid drink, but why forget?

"Sirius dear, how's it goin'? Have you settled down? Found a job? Anything?" Molly said, sitting down at a table with Sirius.

"I don't have to work for the rest of my life! Between my family money, the money the ministry gave me for false accusations, and a bunch of other things, I'll be set for good." He sighed as if it was hard but then Molly and him shared a laugh. "How are things going on here? Still running good?"

Molly smiled brightly, "Almost never better. Things are just beginning to smooth over now that we've all had some time to heal." Apparently, she was still broken too. Sirius grimaced at this, but not so Molly could see. He didn't want her to be suspicious of him. "So what brings you around here?"

"I came for a visit, just to get a good breath, I have recently been asked if I want to sell my parents house, you know? I was going to make my way over to Gringotts to get some money for a new wardrobe, all that hoppy-cock, should be good." Sirius looked out the front window, a lot of people walked in and out as he sat on that stool he decided to sit in after Molly's attention was pulled away. He watched all the people. So oblivious and different, how . . . Normal.

Not used to normal yet, I guess.

Hermione sat through her day of work or trudging was more like it, mainly thinking of what Sirius had said. She was perturbed about the way he had just walked out. Just left her there like a child being punished.

She made no notice to the current flow of people walking in and out of her office, talking to her. The only thought was Sirius saying _'let him slip away.'_ She thought it cruel at first, for Sirius to be saying that to her. He had no business doing that. She had thought about it harder. Was he doing for him or for her? If he was saying it for her, should she really let the only man she had ever truly loved go? She hadn't even thought she was ready. Could she have been?

She was not ready to let go.

Sirius had moved out after that. He had moved in to his old house, number twelve Grimmauld Place. He had left Hermione alone. Even though she was glad to be alone, she had a cold felling, not having someone to wake up to in the morning, not having someone to have meals and conversations with.

Hermione had shied away from her friends into March. Even though she was there for the birth of Ginny and Harry's new baby girl, which they named Lily Charlotte. She kept to herself, and stopped inviting Remus over for their usual time together. She became enveloped with her loneliness and with that lost thought of Draco. She would get owls from her friends, telling her that they wanted to see her, hear from her, but she never responded.

Once, on her way home from work, she stopped in her favorite bookstore. It was a store in Diagon Alley, far from the Weasley's store, so she wouldn't have a chance of seeing them. She walked into the back and a thought ran though her head, _'If I could only talk to him.'_ She yearned to her that smooth voice that she was to be married to. Then a thought came to her . . . What is she could save Draco like she saved Sirius? She went to the back of the store, where she had found those select books she had the answer for getting Sirius back.

She decided to purchase these books this time and bring them home. She got home, showered, dressed, made some hot chocolate, and sat down with her new big books. They were not new, but to her they were. They were old and bound with leather. Falling off in areas. She flipped back to where she had found the information, where her notes were taken from. She was looking through the first book, and found nothing. She picked up the other book she had bought, and found an interesting excerpt:

"_. . . It true that the veil between the two worlds, Mortal and Non, is the thinnest on October the 31st, Halloween night. This bit of time is an opportunity to speak with and see ones who have moved on, to a more peaceful life which is the after life . . ."_ Hermione scowled, why did it have to be so far away? This excerpt continued on for a while talking about the two worlds, and about them, and it talked about communication, and how to do it. Finally she came across one line that she almost cried over, _". . . It is possible the Equinoxes are another period of time where this same access is possible."_

Hermione continued to stare at her answer. She might have another chance to see him, to talk to him. She thought, when was the next Equinox? March 21st. That's only in a week! How was she supposed to do this?

The books also stated that the Sun would pass over the equator at exactly 9:49 P.M. on the 21st of March 2006. '_Great!_'

Hermione was so excited, but she hadn't realized that she had forgotten, she would only get to talk to him.

The week seemed to go by so slowly, Hermione was ready to cut off her fingers in anticipation. She smiled her was through it though. On the night before the twenty-first, Hermione set up her living room with candles, incense, and pillows. She had drawn the curtains so she wouldn't have any light what so ever in the room, other then the lit candles and the red amber of the incense.

As her day of work went on, she continued to stare at the clock, waiting for it to hit eight thirty so she could go home. Unfortunately, it was only seven. She hit her head on the desk, waiting for time to pass. Finally, time did pass, and she flew out the door and apparated to her flat, wasting no time, she ran in to her room, got into some comfy clothes, and lit all the candles and incense in her living room, extinguishing all the unnatural light in the flat.

Hermione then picked up one stick of incense, and created a circle, once it had turned nine forty-seven. She sat in the center of the circle she had created and thought long and hard of Draco, his voice, his hair, his eyes, body, and personality. She had pictured him in her head. She called for him.

A light wind passed by, and blew out all of the candles but the one in the circle with her, which illuminated her face. She opened her eyes and called,

"Draco?" She started to get scared, when a smooth voice whispered in her ear.

"Do not worry your self, Hermione." She whipped around too not see Draco, but Severus Snape. He stood there, this time not with the loathing he had for her in his classroom, but the kind of sympathy of a friend. "What you have come looking for, you will not find."

Hermione became a bit misty at these words, "Wa -- . . . What do you mean?" Her voice a bit more high pitched then usual.

Severus Snape sat himself across from her in the circle Hermione had created. Looking deeply into her toffee eyes. "You have come looking for Draco have you not?" She nodded, "He has been passed away far too long to be seen ever again. The only place you would be able to see him again after such a long period of time would to be through the veil, which he did not go through, such as Black." Hermione leaned forward, over her crossed legs, sobbing. "Don't cry though Hermione, You know all he ever wanted for you was to be was happy. Everybody knows that."

Hermione looked up and rubbed her eyes, "Everybody?"

Severus smiled, "Yes, everybody is here, but I was the one who was chosen to speak with you."

Hermione smiled at this, she did not know why though.

"Hermione, I want you to know that you have suffered a great deal. I know you know that, but I wanted to point that out to you." Snape leaned forward and took hold of her hand, "You know that Draco wants you happy. When I first arrived in the after life, Draco was very distraught. He was upset that you would die unhappy and become a ghost, not able to live on with out him. He soon had to leave after that, as will I. He never wanted you to be alone and unhappy, which is why you wanted to see him again?"

"Yes, but I need closure, I need to see him!" She cried.

Severus grimaced, "I'm sorry there is nothing I can do there, but I can leave with the fact he did love you, but he wanted you to let him go."

Hermione looked up into those once cold eyes, now warm, and thought of what Sirius had said. Not only did Sirius say it, but so didn't Draco. All he wanted for her was for her to be able to live without him.

"Thank you Severus. Please do let everyone know that I love them, and I hope to see them soon, but not too soon." They shared a smile and a hug, and Severus walked out of the circle and disappeared.

Hermione took the pillow he had sat on and hugged it. It was cold. Hermione cried that she had hoped she would see the man, who widowed her, but did not. He was gone forever. There was only one way for her to see him again and that would be for her to die happy, but she did not know how to come to this. She was unhappy because she was basically lonely. She needed someone who could understand. Even though she did not want someone else.

The next day, Hermione got an owl from Remus. It was an invitation to a birthday party for Jacque, seeing her birthday was April 4th.

_Hermione,_

_As you know Jacques Birthday is coming up and even though I have yet to see you in a while, I would like for you to come, seeing she likes you so much. I hope that I could meet up with you and get your opinion on some things. I wish I could see you because you have been so distant. Please respond. Below is the information to the party:_

_Name: Jacque Lupin_

_When: Saturday April 1st Noon-whenever_

_Where: Our house, 'Lupin cove' (for those who floo)_

_Respond as soon as possible by owl_

_Love_

Remus 

Hermione immediately felt guilty for leaving one of her closest friends in the dark of her feelings and her thought. She immediately wrote a letter telling Remus she would come visit and tell him the news of what was going on in her life that made her so isolated.

The time between the sending of the invitation and the actual party was spent quickly. Hermione had worked her way back into everybody else's lives. Not so much into Sirius's though, due to his 'coming back to life.' Everything went back to normal, and the only person who knew about Hermione's Equinox was Remus. It amazed a lot of people how they became best of friends over the past few years. Hermione had waned from Harry and Ron toward Remus and sort of, Sirius. She liked having older men to talk to her, other then people her age.

The day of the party, Hermione arrived an hour early to help Remus set a few things up, while Jacque slept. There was not much but a buffet table, and some streamers of Jacques favorite colors, purple and blue. Once people started to show up, it did not matter much. People were laughing and it was fun all around, They all had birthday parties for all their kids, but Remus wanted one for an excuse to have Hermione come out of her flat, which she did thankfully. Everyone was glad to see Hermione again, especially Sirius, Harry, and Ginny. They were the most worried of what was going on, but Harry and Ginny had had a faint idea and Sirius knew.

Sirius had tried numerous times to engage into conversations with Hermione, but she always found a way to slip out of his grip. Finally, Sirius gave up and sat with Remus after the 'Happy Birthday' was sung and cake was passed out.

"I just don't get it Moony! The second I get her attention, she just gets trailed off into something else." Sirius stated exasperated.

Remus just shook his head, "You know she's still tense with you over Draco, you said so your self. Wait until you can get her alone. She properly wants to be left alone. Don't fret over it."

Sirius just leaned back in his chair, watching the brunette from his corner as she danced with Harry. She was happy there in this scene. He never caught his eye and she never noticed his hovering gaze on her, but Harry did.

Harry came over once that song was over and sat next to Sirius.

"What's bugging you?" Harry asked as he sat himself in Remus's vacated chair.

Sirius heaved a big sigh, and ran his hands through his hair, and in one breath, "Hermione"

Harry gave his godfather an almost knowing, but slightly taken aback look, "Well, um . . . what about her?"

Sirius caught sight of his problem, "Look at her. She rescues me, houses me, cares for me, and then starts to ignore me like a problem that wont go away. Then I move out and she wont even talk to me! About anything, just because I found out _why_ she was ignoring me." He closed his eyes, then opened them to look at his godson.

Harry thought about it for a second and assumed Hermione had been upset because of Draco . . . again, "Well, Hermione has done this before, but maybe your part of the problem."

At first Sirius gave Harry a menacing look. Mad at Harry for accusing him of being part of Hermione's problem. Then he thought better of it. He thought about it for a moment, tilted his head, and gave Harry a knowing look.

"Maybe your right, but now what? What am I supposed to do?" Sirius leant forward and looked back at Harry, "Am I just supposed to walk out of her life? I mean come on. I spent like a month at her flat! Just living there. Plus . . . she saved my life." He said in a meaningful tone.

Harry just patted him on the back and went back to sit with his wife and Hermione, who were in deep conversation. Sirius just let his gaze follow Harry; soon it slipped over to Hermione for the millionth time that night.

Presents were given and the party was winding down. A few people had left early, due to personal issues. Ginny and Harry had to leave early because their new daughter was getting cranky as time slipped to six and seven o'clock. It was left down to Hermione, Ron, Sirius, Fred, and Remus. Ron and Fred had made their way out soon after the clock hit nine.

Hermione wanted to stay with Remus a bit longer, as did Sirius. They cleaned up a bit, did dishes, took out the trash, put all of Jacques new stuff in her room, and took down the steamers.

Sirius had gotten playful and wrapped a particularly long piece of purple streamer around Hermione as she laughed for him to stop. He continued to wrap to around her till the piece was spent and then came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her frame.

"I'm sorry."

Hermione's eyes widened, "You shouldn't be." Her voice became a whisper, "I should be though." She closed her eyes and put her hands over his and took in his warmth until Remus came back into the room.

They let go, and they made up, not noticing how much closer they would be. The three of them stayed with each other till the wee hours of the morning, when Sirius's head hit the table, it was a signal for them to go home.

Sirius left after Hermione had. She apparated home, whilst Sirius went with old-fashioned walking. His house was rather far from Remus's but he didn't mind. As he walked, he could see the horizon becoming a violet to an almost fire orange. He could still see some stars in the sky. He saw his breath too. It was that cold that early in the morning. Once he had gotten tired of walking he apparated home. He slumped up his stairs to his second floor bedroom. He flopped on his bed and slept till two in the afternoon.

When he had woken, he showered and found a change of clean clothes to wear. He decided to stop in to see Hermione, and what she was up to for the day, seeing he knew she did not have work, is was Sunday.

Hermione was practically skipping around her kitchen and house, just happy that she had made up with Sirius. She hated knowing there was tension between her and other people, but would never do anything about it. She was sitting down, finally, looking out her window over London. As she watched, she sipped her tea. It warmed her up from the slightly cold breeze. It was still chilly enough to wear sweats, but not too cold.

As she sat, she hadn't noticed the first knock on her door, but the second one was more apparent. She got up and called that she was coming, she slowly made it over to the door, looking over to the clock it read, '3:30' Hermione had a mental freak out, 'I'm still in my pajamas!' but did not mind much. She opened the door to find Sirius standing there. Fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care. So he had that, 'I just woke up look.' With blue jeans and a white shirt. Hermione was a little embarrassed at her lack of clothing, which were shorts and a sweatshirt.

"Hi."

"Hello." Hermione shuffled back into her flat, and beckoned Sirius to follow her. They sat down at her kitchen table, and Hermione summoned two cups and conjured up a pot of steaming hot tea, for them to share. "What brings you around here?"

Sirius gave her a smile, "What I can't visit you? I mean we practically lived together for a month mind you."

Hermione smiled as she sipped her too hot tea, but didn't mind, "I know, you can visit me, but you have come here for a reason."

Sirius rubbed his warm cup; "I want to take you out today, not a date, so don't freak out, just a 'we both don't belong to a family type relationship, so we needed something to do.' Thing"

Hermione laughed at this comment, for it was true. Besides her and Sirius, everyone had Family to be with.

"Well, where would you like to go, Mr. Black?" Hermione asked, taking yet another sip of her tea, while watching Sirius mill this over in his head.

"I don't know, would you like to go to Hogsmeade? Just, hang out over there for the day?" He asked without lifting to meet her eyes.

Hermione smiled at the idea, "Yeah, I'd like that."

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: Okay so here it is, the one-week-holder-offer thing, I hope you enjoy, and please don't flame me. This took a lot of effort and time for me, I don't know why though. My mom helped me with the apparition part where Hermione sees Severus, so thank her for that.

Please review!

I shall return by next Sunday, but am off by the following Tuesday. Please review, and wish me good luck on spotting a boy on the beach! Hahaha! Love you guys a lot!

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	12. Chapter 12: Build My World

A/n: Hello people! Thought that I might be able to update while I was in Florida visiting my family, getting tidbits done here and there, but was unsuccessful. I hope that the last chapter was satisfying for you enough! Thank you to my few reviewers THANKS!!! Terribly sorry that I haven't updated in a month. Working out on getting a job (at Dunkin' Donuts!!!), family problems, going through driving school, and then school just started and I'm a junior in four college prep classes. Not that I'm complaining. Plus I moved over the summer and trying to make new friends isn't fun.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 12: Build My World

"It's amazing how we fear we may be, It's from ourselves we so often run. Abandon fear and consequence of heartbreak expose the truth and give yourself to love"

-J.C. Chasez

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

"Wow, that was delicious! I have never really eaten here before, never really got anything except for butterbeers and other drinks." Hermione said as she watched Sirius finish his plate.

"Drinks?" Sirius mused.

"Posh tish, Sirius. You should know me by now. You only spent a month at my flat." Hermione snorted sarcastically.

They had been fitting back in with each other, slowly. As the night passed on by, the more comfortable the situation got. Long hours were spent sipping drinks and chatting. Some conversations were serious and others were playful or funny. Before they were too buzzed with happiness and drinks, they left and went to their respective homes and thought of each other.

The next day, Hermione smiled, she flipped her hair, and she laughed at silly, not-so-funny comments. People looked at her funny at work. She was overly happy and wasn't afraid to show it at all. Her boss let her off early because he was in a bad mood and didn't want to deal with a perky person. Hermione later scolded her self for being so obvious of her feelings for a brief moment.

Sirius, being the person that he was, was not as happy. He shuffled his feet from his kitchen door, to his table, sat down, conjured up some coffee, drank it and left the table for a scolding shower. He was lonely. He wanted to move closer with Hermione but it was hard because he had no idea where her feelings stood. It was a little uneasy for him at the time. Remus came over later on and they talked about the circumstances.

Remus knew it was hard for Sirius, and knew that he was usually stubborn with his feelings. Except he knew that this time he was a leaf in the breeze with this one. Remus knew that Sirius would never confess to Hermione that he had feelings for her, so Remus decided he was close enough to Hermione to get some answers from her.

He showed up at her house and left little Jacque with Sirius, out of pure love of his friend. Hermione was perky as Remus could see and thought that maybe he was right in thinking that she did like Sirius.

"Tea or coffee?" Hermione asked politely, getting two medium sized mugs, for either or.

"Hmmm, I'm feeling like coffee tonight." Remus laughed to himself. "Jacque is bound to be rowdy tonight after being watched by Sirius. He's such a bad influence to her."

Hermione conjured up two coffees and sat at her wood kitchen table. "Is he? I hadn't thought so."

Remus stirred his steaming cup, and looked at Hermione through his eyebrows, "You wouldn't now would you?"

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"What did you just say?"

"Nothing. Why?" Remus continued looking to his mug.

She sat there trying to pry Remus's brain, but was unsuccessful, so she had to make a frontal exhibition, "What did you mean when you said, 'I wouldn't think so' or something to that effect?"

Remus was in a cage now. He thought making a comment was going to help, but maybe not. He looked up, made a nervous laugh, and coughed, "Well, you know, . . . err . . . Well, isn't it obvious?" Remus looked her in the eyes. Almost serious, but not too much.

She sat there with a quizzical look about her face and tilted her head as if to ask 'what was so obvious?'

"I come over to a dilly bouncing off the walls in pure ecstasy! It's obvious that you're happy in other words." He ran his fingers through his hair. "Maybe I'm coming about this too harsh, but your . . . lets just say, your certainly wearing your heart on your sleeve. Extremely low at that."

At that comment, Hermione sat back in her chair with a concerning look on her face. Almost pouting. She leant her head down; "I didn't want it to be true."

Remus was a little taken aback by the comment, "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't want to do what I did. I . . . I didn't." She began to sob quietly and Remus pulled a chair up next to her and rubbed small circles on her back as a tear fell on her jeans, leaving a wet spot.

Remus cooed softly, "I'm not so sure what you di . . ."

"I didn't want to fall for him like I did." Remus didn't want to find out this way. "I don't like the way I feel sometimes . . . It almost hurts."

Remus went home later on that evening, after tucking her into bed. He wasn't feeling as he hoped, happy that she liked him, but upset because she did not want to. How could a girl not want to love?

"So, now what? They're both in the same situations." Remus sighed as he walked into his apartment. Sirius had fallen asleep on his couch, and Jacque was asleep in her bed.

Remus woke Sirius, seeing if he wanted to go home.

"Before I go, I want to know where you went." Sirius asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Remus just walked into the kitchen; "I went out to get some things done."

"Remus you're lying to me . . ."

Remus knew he was a bad liar, and Sirius was an excellent one. Sirius shuffled into the kitchen after Remus and leant against the doorway.

"So, who did you go see?" Sirius asked pryingly, as if it was some girl Remus was interested in, but he was very mistaken.

Remus drew a sullen face, "Hermione . . . for you."

Sirius did not phase, "And?"

"You're going to have to find out on your own, it's not my business to tell you how she feels. Weather its good or bad."

Sirius looked to the floor, "So, what do you suggest I do? I took her out last night and it's still the same, nothing has changed." He continued his shuffling towards the counter top, grabbed a mug, conjured hot coffee, and hopped up onto the counter top. He took the first sip as it left a searing hot trace down his esophagus. 'Umm. Good.'

Remus turned towards Sirius direction but didn't look at him, "Have you ever thought that a girl may not want to let her true feelings known for any reason?"

The cup in his hands started to burn, but held it just a little too long before he put it down. His vision was directed as his wise friend, who stood there, no eye contact.

"Did it ever cross you mind that she didn't want to let you know?"

"But, why?"

Remus heaved a sigh, "Because Hermione is who she is, and she is not usually one to wear her heart on her sleeve." Remus moved his head so Sirius could not see his smirk, 'certainly one to wear her heart on her sleeve at some occasions.'

Sirius shrugged at that comment, jumped from the counter top and let with a sad good bye to his friend.

He had decided from Remus's information that it was time for him to confess at least the faintest crush towards Hermione . . . at least. He was mad that she didn't show anything to him. That she just let it fly in the breeze like it didn't matter to her at all. 'Maybe she did that because it did mean more then that' He thought to him self as he lay down to sleep in his so large, lonely house.

Sleep eventually came, but left him early in the night. Shuffling down stairs, he sat on dead couch, and put his head in his hands, watching the ghosts of the shadows appear as the sun came over the horizon.

Hermione awoke the next morning to wondering how she had ended up in bed, in the clothes she was in the day before. She took a shower, dressed and made her way to work for the day. People frowned that she was back to being Hermione, and not the perky person from before.

As she worked her way through the many papers on her desk, there was a note with her name on it. 'Some one must have left this while I was at lunch.' She thought to herself. She opened it, and found it was form Sirius. Her heartbeat sped up slightly as she read the note. Her tongue was almost swallowed. She regretted ever telling Remus how she felt for Sirius. She should have known that Remus would have said something.

Sirius had asked her to come to his place that night for a small sit down meal around nine. She had thought that the late time was quite strange. Maybe he had another engagement? She didn't know. She worked without thinking about it. She walked home, took another shower, picked out some subtle, and yet dressed clothes. A simple black cascading to her shins skirt and white spaghetti strap tank top. Nothing special, but almost too plain to be anything but perfect. She wore only a white shimmer for her eyes, with thick coal-colored eyeliner. He hair was left down.

She apparated to his house and in to his front hallway. A little bit before he had asked. She peered down the hallway and saw Sirius whizzing past the doorway to the kitchen, not noticing her. Hermione started toward the kitchen and walked in, but he wasn't there anymore. She sat down at the wooden table that was still there. That table had held so many Order meetings. Nicks and scratches were still in it from her days as a younger Hermione.

Soon enough, Sirius reappeared, and jumped at the sight that was Hermione sitting at his kitchen table. He was just as dressed as she, black dress pants and a dark blue, tucked in sweater. He was lacking shoes at the moment though. Hermione laughed because he was embarrassed at being careless, but left it the way it was.

Sirius had prepared sinner for them, pork chops, home made mashed potatoes, and asparagus. Sirius was proud of his muggle dinner, and Hermione beamed at his efforts.

"So, what made you want to have me for dinner here, Mr. Black?" Hermione mused. She hadn't caught his strained expression at the thought of what he wanted to tell her. 'I'll just put it off till after dinner and a few bottles of champagne.'

"Well you know me, this is just thanking you for enduring me for that one precious month." He laughed. It was a precious month to him. The sweetest January ever. They ate, then moved to the common room to watch the roaring fire burn and drink champagne. It was late and Hermione had to go to work in the morning.

Hermione began to stand up, "Well, I must be going. I have to get a good amount of sleep for tomorrow." Sirius frowned.

He stood up with her and they walked into the front hall. As she turned to say goodbye, he had grabbed her wrist and pulled her closer to him. He looked deep into those toffee, that had fear and uncertainty written all over them. HE closed his eyes for what was only a mere second or two, but felt an eternity.

He swallowed, "There was a reason for you to come here tonight, and that was for this . . ."

He closed his eyes once more and lowered his lips upon hers. Soft and sure they were to him, for that only too brief moment that was their first kiss.

Sirius recovered from it first, "I've wanted to tell you for a long time now that I like you, a lot, maybe even more, I don't know. All I know is that I want to be with you. I'm drawn to you."

Hermione continued to look up at him, but her facial expression changed to that of certainty, and she stepped up to once more kiss him on the lips. Except this time, what she felt did not hurt.

They parted but dare not let go. Hermione put her head on his chest and thought of it. Her and Sirius, maybe. Sirius wrapped his arms around her back and held to her, not wanted to let go. He did eventually, and she went home. He promised that he would never let her hurt.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: IF YOU DON'T REVIEW, I WON'T UPDATE!!!!

So? What do you think? If you noticed I've made some major changes, I've kind of changed a lot in the pass few days. I've gotten more organized, keeping up with things and schedules. I feel like a new girl! Yay! Anyhow, I'm sorry again for the longest delay of your lives, but it's been hectic. Thank you BIG to my peppy happy reviewers!

SilverFoxBlueFox and Auntie Nimue cough-Sheila-cough.

And also a big thanks to those who reviewed my one-shot 'white houses'

eternal promises, Niphredel Black, and dracos-such-a-hottie

Incase you were wondering, that's my aunt, hehehe, aunts are the best relatives of all! They rock, anyway, I've updated all my other chapters with excerpts from the songs they are named for! Go back and take a look if you please, and next time, I'm taking out the prologue or at least changing it so it doesn't sound so darned stupid!

Thanks, and love you all (especially my aunt! Love you she she!!!)

REVIEW!!!!!!!!

IF YOU DON'T REVIEW, I WON'T UPDATE!!!!


	13. Chapter 13: Fall To Pieces

A/n: So sorry for the long wait. This is yet another installment of 'Finding' and the last. I am obviously getting to the end of it. Sorry!

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Chapter 13: Fall to Pieces

"I just want to sit and stare at you. I don't want to talk about it and I don't want a conversation. I just want to cry in front of you. I don't want to talk about it, because I'm in love with you."

-Avril Lavigne

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

Sleeping.

Awake.

Drifting.

Falling.

Thud

"Bugger!" Hermione had fallen out of bed trying to sleep. She scrambled in the slowest fashion, her cat watching her. "What are you looking at?" The cat had a face on that made it seem as though he were smiling but Hermione thought better of it. _Stupid cat_.

It was hard to sleep for her when she only had one thing going through her mind.

She sat on her bedroom floor. Her head in her hands, trying to find some center. She felt stupid. She felt as though she had made the biggest mistake of her life. She did not want to admit to anyone, not even herself. However, she had some strong feelings for Sirius now. Just the way he had kissed her the night before blurred the picture to the point of blindness. Unfortunately, she knew that Sirius must know and Remus as well.

Now, embarrassed, she got up and looked at her clock. It shined a bright green 5:32 AM. Too early for her, but she could not get back to sleep.

She thought about the decision that she was eventually going to make. Was she going to heed what Snape had told her about Draco, how he only wanted her to be happy? Would she be happy if she did get together with Sirius Black? She was mildly confused. She decided that if it would work, well then . . . maybe she would allow herself to be happy.

"I feel so broken up." She was torn in two. One by her growing feelings for Sirius and one by the man that she might have to let go.

Sirius woke with a jolt; he had slept in with too sweet to last dreams. He smiled his way through his hot shower, and prepared to visit Hermione . . . after she got out of work of course. It was Thursday, his favorite day of the week. Hermione would be getting out of work and he would take her out, treat her to dinner, and take her home, if he was lucky enough to his house.

He mentally slapped him self for thinking those thoughts. He must remember that she is vulnerable and needs comforting, not some horny and senseless normal guy. No matter how appealing her skin was to him. _'Shut up'_ he told him self, _'I'll never get through the day!'_

Hermione got to work and closed the door to her office. Only two seconds later were there people coming in to drop notices, papers, and files off on her desk. Frankly for her, that was also blurred. Instead of flooing, apparating, or flying home, she walked. Her handbag in one hand that wore a mitten. The other hand with a hot chocolate that tasted bad because it was made with water. She was looking forward to going home to make her homemade cocoa. She smiled. Bliss in a cup.

She was so blasé, the she had not noted her door was not only unlocked, but also slightly ajar. She walked in and turned her lights on, not able to see into the living room, she did not notice Sirius sitting on the couch, apprehensively awaiting her notice. She walked into the kitchen and put on a kettle, to her surprise this time, she noticed that it was very warm.

She did not think who could have been in her flat before she found Sirius sitting on her couch looking at her. He frowned, noticing her bad mood. He could read it in the she walked and looked at him with no expression. She walked back into the kitchen, mad that he had just walked in as if everything was okay.

"Hermione" He asked for her and got up from the couch, "What's the matter?"

She sat at the kitchen and found two steaming mugs of her homemade cocoa ready to be drunken. It her that what Sirius had done was sweet, and she lightened her mood.

"Come on, I wanted to talk about some things before we decided on doing anything." Sirius coaxed her into realizing his endearment.

She lifted the corner for her lip, "I'm sorry for the way I walked in, I've just been thinking a lot today."

"About what?"

"You. You and Me. Draco and Me. My wants, your wants, Draco's want. What we could be. Do I want it to be?"

Sirius sat for a moment processing what she was saying. Most of all that caught his ear was her mention of Draco and what he wanted. Draco wanted. How could Draco want?

"A while back, I contacted 'the other side.' Don't laugh its not funny." Hermione warned him, "I talked to Snape and he told me that all Draco ever wanted for me was to be was happy. At first, I did not know what to think. I did not know what to think or do. Should I listen to Snape who is dead and I feel stupid to talk to a dead person, or should I not listen and be alone?"

Sirius wanted to hold her and tell her everything that would make her want him, but his mind and heart told him no. She was the one he loved, and she had forgotten where his heart truly laid. It was for her and he felt hurt at her almost rejection. His body language was reading closed and his eyes were cold.

Hermione was upset that this had effected him the way it did.

"I just don't know what to do, I'm so conflicted." She sighed.

Sirius found his voice, "I want to comfort you and make you feel better, but I don't know what you want. I do not know if you want to be left alone or if you want comfort. I came over here tonight expecting a totally different attitude."

She whispered an apology. Here and now was the right time for a decision. She reached across the table to his hands and grabbed one with hers. She looked up into his lost face and his cold mood dropped. He felt her air cold hands and immediately wanted to warm them.

She stood from her chair, "Join me on the couch?" She dare not let go of his hand, in fear of losing him. He too stood and made his way with her to the common room. The windows were all closed but the shades were open, allowing them to enjoy the night sky. She sat with her back to him and his chest to her back. She was practically sitting in his lap. She looked and recognized a few constellations, but did not find the one that she was looking for.

"I'm not up there now" Sirius let out once he has realized what she was doing, "I don't come 'till late springtime."

"Oh."

They laughed and had sat for a few hours afterwards, not talking until Sirius was preparing to leave.

"It's not all about me." Hermione said, as she was about to hug him goodbye.

Sirius decided it was time to shut up and listen.

"I've really been conceded in some of my thoughts. Not even considering what you felt or thought. Forgive me?" She asked pleadingly.

"Yeah." He smiled.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and put her head to his chest. She looked up to his face like she had the night before and made a final decision and kissed him on the lips, hoping against hope he would not reject her, which he did not. It was a sweet kiss, getting more passionate as the seconds passed.

Hermione was sick and tired of regretting everything she did. Especially when it was with Sirius. She enjoyed that he was always there for her and he would do sweet things and be so nice.

They let go and she smiled at him, while he looked at her with slight confusion.

"I was wondering if I could come back to your house. Mine gets cold when I'm all alone." She said with an expression change. She did not want to go to work the next day. She did not want to regret her choices. She wanted to be able to love Sirius with out a second thought about it and she was going to.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

Hermione smirked, "Completely."

Hermione grabbed her hang bag and spring jacket and left with Sirius. They walked to the center of London arm in arm, found an empty alleyway and apparated to Sirius house. Only seconds passed before they were enveloped in each other until slept overcame them in Sirius's bed.

Hermione awoke late in the morning to the smell of eggs and talking coming from the down stairs. Sirius was with someone. She had dressed in a pair of his sweats and walked sown stairs a smile across her face to see Remus.

His face was about to fall off as Hermione walked past and sat down across from him.

"What are you making for breakfast Sirey?" She said in her cutest voice ignoring Remus's expression.

Sirius turned and laughed at Remus, "Well, um, Scrambled eggs, toast, and maybe a few sausages." He made eye contact with Hermione, "Tea?"

"Yes please." She finally made eye contact with Remus and laughed to herself, "What?"

"Nothing, just nothing." Remus cleared his throat, "Um, are you playing with my head or . . ."

"Yes, we did." Hermione stated with a smirk and sparkle in her eye, "And not a word to anyone about it. Not yet at least," in a more serious tone.

Remus just shut his gaping mouth and nodded, too aghast to speak. Sirius took his place next to Hermione.

"It's weird not being so weird around you." He said confusedly.

Hermione looked at him dumbfounded, "What?"

"Well there used to be this weirdness between me and you, and . . . well . . . now there isn't."

"Hmm, no, there isn't." Hermione closed her eyes and rested her head on his shoulder smiling.

Sirius smiled at Hermione and made eye contact with Remus who smiled at her happiness. Remus had left shortly to let the two be alone. It was sweet; the two of them rather had it together. So, they had breakfast together and it was quiet. They drank tea, eat their eggs and toast, and sat and looked at each other.

"So, what else would you like to do today?" Sirius asked her.

Hermione hummed for a moment; "I want more of this . . . the Sirius Black charm."

Sirius chuckled, "Join the club." They laughed. "Now we can hang out here at my house for the day like ninnies or we can go out and be a real couple and let the world know." Hermione smiled at that prospect.

"But then I would have to get dressed in real clothes and go out."

"But wouldn't it be fun?"

Soon enough the two of them were walking out the door, arm in arm, in the cool spring air. They decided to find a muggle town nearby that was less crowded where they could get a warm meal and a hot drink, away from the city.

After eating, they were walking arm in arm. The occasional glance from jealous women towards Hermione made her laugh; as did the comments from men towards her did Sirius laugh.

Sirius was getting so into this, he got an idea. After walking for a few minutes, he stopped walking in the middle of the street.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked confusedly.

Sirius lifted his hand to her face, pointed to her nose, and touched it, "Tag your it!" and he ran away as fast as he could. It was easy seeing there were not that many people.

Hermione stood there dumbfoundly for a few second before she set off with a start, "Sirius Orion Black, I am going to get you, so bad!"

Sirius continued running about thirty yards ahead of her laughing his head off. She was not catching up to her too quickly, but she was advancing, so he ran with all of his energy and got ahead enough so she could not see him. He quickly dodged away into an alleyway.

"Uh! Sirius!" Hermione moaned, "Where the hell did you go?" She put her arms up in defeat as we walked down an alley that she suspected him to go down. At first, she did not see him, until he jumped out and grabbed her around the waist.

"I found you!" She cried.

"You always did, didn't you?" He said as he pulled her closer to him. "You always found me."

He kissed her with more passion then he had ever before then. It was not even that intense.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

"Do you like vegetables?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you like carrots?" Hermione asked.

"Uh huh." The little boy mumbled.

"Do you like peas?"

"Uh huh."

"Do you want some?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay honey, here you go." Hermione smiled as her son took the small bowl of vegetables from her. He walked around the table; the one with all those marks in it that Hermione remembered.

"Jeff, honey be careful okay, don't drop the bowl."

"I got it mum." He was just like his dad, so confident and reassured. Always so sure of himself. He had the same raven hair and piercing gray eyes. "Mummy? When is daddy gunna be home?"

Hermione cleaned up the stove of the pot she had used to cook her son a healthy snack, "Any minute now, honey."

From the front hall, Hermione could already hear her husband taking his coat and boots off.

"Honey! It's snowing out, could you wake me up early so I could shovel the walk way, Harry is coming over with his kids." Sirius walked into the kitchen, collapsing into Hermione. "I missed you so much."

"And I you." Hermione kissed his cold cheek. "First snow of the season. It's such a sweet November."

"My favorite month." Sirius smiled. "Come here Jeff."

His son ran over to him putting his arms up to be picked up. "Hey dad!"

"Hey boy! How was your day?"

"It was good." He laughed.

"Yeah?"

"But I missed you." Hermione cooed at their son's sincerity. Sirius put his son down, and he ran into the other room, leaving his parents alone.

"Hey."

"Hey." Hermione pushed some of his bangs behind his ear.

"Did I ever tell you how much I love you?" Hermione giggled at this comment.

"Maybe, I think only a few thousand times." They smiled and shared a kiss.

They had been married now for eight years or so, but it did not really matter because they shared love, a stronger bond then marriage. A few years after marriage, they had a son. He had grown up behind everyone. While he was still six, all of his older 'cousins' were starting Hogwarts naturally. Most of them were well into Hogwarts by now.

Hermione and Sirius enjoyed every moment together, never bored or sick of the other. It was sweet really.

Fin

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/n: Well . . . that was it, the finale, the finish, and the end. Thank you to all whom loved and read my story. Please, tell me if the ending was bien! Hehehe. Love to all!

.Mai.


End file.
